Posted by: Lass | 2004/01/12

Cheating dad!

I am so sick with my dad treating my mum like dirt, i want to kill him!( not literally). My mum has been hiding his behaviour for years until now that we are old and see the real him. My mum got married at 19 with only matric but she worked hard also studied part time until she got her masters degree. She has a very respectable job while my dad has only a teaching certificate as he did not wanted to study further but he is very brigth. So everything we have mum gave it to us but he has never been there for his six kids and always when we want something from him he will tell us to to mum as he does not have money.

Mum built a good family we are all educated AND five of us are working and the younger one is in Vasity. We all do not like him and i sometime wish he was not in our lives. Mum does not listen to us when we want her to live him. He cheats even with our domestic workers. He sneaks out of their bed at night and goes to the domestics room to sleep with them. Mum tried to hire younger ones as old ones agreed to his nonsenses believing he will chase mum and they will own the house. This holidays we all went home to be with mum only to discover that he has been harrassing the 20yr old that working for mum. My day is 64yrs. The gal told us as she does not like to live our place as we like here a lot help her outmany times and she is being paid well. My day sexually harrase her, brushes against her, calls her on the cell and say dirty thing and even went to the extend of coming at night at her bedroom stack naked. She said she woke up as he was touyching her. She screamed and mum heard and find him in the worker's room naked.

We wewr so agry that we went to the police station but mum cried and said she is going to be humulated and the hole community will know and she will die if people find out. So we stoppped for her sake but i believe he should not get away with this and something has to be done as he will never stop.

What can be done? The gal is also afriad to press charges as she likes mum and does not want to cause trouble. I am so agry at him i wanted to hire a person to either beat him up or cut his pennies off.

He holds a strong position at church but he behaves like a devil. We even all stopped going to his church as we can not stand him standing in front of people and preaching.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lass, it's your dad with his disgusting and totally selfish behaviour who is causing trouble, not the people who report his criminal and sleazy conduct to the authorities. It is sad, but a louse like this is so often able to rely on other people being too scared to force him to face up to the proper consequences for his filthy behaviour.
However, only your mom can divorce him --- kids aren't allowed to get a divorce, even if it's deserved. And only the maid can lay charges of attenmpted rape or whatever. If they dont take responsibility for acting to protect themselves, its hard for anyone else to do so. talk this over with your mom, and encourage her to at least leave him to wallow in his own filth. I wonder whether his grubby behaviour is as big a secret as she thinks. And if the story came out ( and one day he is likely to try it on with someone who WILL report him and the story WILL come out ) surely most people are sensible enough to sympathize with her and not him ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Amazed | 2004/01/13

Truly, I feel for you, but hard as it may seem, the ball is in your mom's court. Divorce is no longer a huge scandal and disgrace, and nobody ever needs to know the reasons for the divorce. Maybe your mom does not want to be without this man?? If not, only she can change her situation.

Good luck

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