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Question
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Cheating

From reading the postings on the forum i have noticed a lot of women have cheated on their husbands. Why is this so?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Women cheat on men, men cheat on women, men cheat on men, and women cheat on women. Cheating is a possible part of any relationship, and there is no single reason for it. There are several reasons why a person may ) unhelpfully, feel justified in cheating - problems in the relationship, which ought rather to be dealt with in marriage counselling, for instance. Or revenge ( which never ultimately works, either - it's like trying to burgle a burglar, it only makes you join those doing wrong, rather than correcting anything that is wrong.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/08

Women cheat on men, men cheat on women, men cheat on men, and women cheat on women. Cheating is a possible part of any relationship, and there is no single reason for it. There are several reasons why a person may ) unhelpfully, feel justified in cheating - problems in the relationship, which ought rather to be dealt with in marriage counselling, for instance. Or revenge ( which never ultimately works, either - it's like trying to burgle a burglar, it only makes you join those doing wrong, rather than correcting anything that is wrong.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

I have replied to your to Anon 2

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Anon2 | 2011/01/07

I too have sent you a mail....

Reply to Anon2
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Replied

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Thanks Chikita will reply soon.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Chikita | 2011/01/07

I have sent you an email !

Reply to Chikita
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

I would prefer we we chat off the forum please. I have posted my mail address. Thanks Chikita

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Chikita | 2011/01/07

Yeah Curious ... u asked we answered .... now it''s your turn ... how can we help you???? Would be glad to chat off this forum if you want to ....

Reply to Chikita
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

I cant discuss my situation here Anon 2 hope you understand. Ladies thanks for all your responses - much apprecited. As i metioned i would really like to chat to you ladies of this forum - i just need some advise please. Hope i am not been foward but here is my mail address daniel.daniel985 at gmail dot com. I just want to chat to you ladies and get advise please. Hope to hear form you guys.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Anon 2 | 2011/01/07

Curious

Ask away maybe one of us can help.

Reply to Anon 2
Posted by: Gracie | 2011/01/07

Just told him to take a hike and that I was no longer interested in him. To be honest with you, it was someone I had a serious relationship with and when we met again after many years the old feelings came back and sooner rather than later I realised that he was still the same person he was all those years ago ... nothing had changed!! He is a year younger than I am.

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Chikita | 2011/01/07

Just curious about your age Curious! Anon : if my husband left me now, I would choose to be on my own too. This sordid little affair I was involved in and the feelings I had after it ended, was really not worth it! The tears I cried when that bully treated me the way he did and swore at me and threatened me when we ended the relationship made me realise the mistake I made! When I think about him now, I realise what a fool I was to fall for him and his lies .. oh dear the lessons we have to learn in life ...

Reply to Chikita
Posted by: Mystic River | 2011/01/07

Never cheated, if im not happy anymore I end the relationship and move on.

Reply to Mystic River
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Only once Gracie - how old was he? How did you manage to end it?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Ladies i find your inputs really really interesting. I really need advise from you ladies please. Is it possible we can chat off this forum ladies - just chat and some advise.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Gracie | 2011/01/07

It happened once ... with one man .... 46 yrs old when it happened.

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Thanks Gracie - wow almost 50. How old were you when the cheating started?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

I am 39 years old Chikita - why do you ask? I guess we all do some wrong in our lives and i agree you are not a bad person. Glad to know someone finds you atractive - its a compliment.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: anon 2 | 2011/01/07

Hey Chikita

I too am 40 something did the same thing as you, exactly, it was the compliments and being sooo nice and friendly, fell hook line and sinker, like a real idiot. He too turned out to be a right royal bas$%^tard. I will NEVER fall for that again from anyone. Luckily my marriage recovered and now it is a few years on, somethings have gone back to the way the were, but you know what, it is still better, and I now believe that should anything happen to my hubby. I will rather stay on my own.

Reply to anon 2
Posted by: Gracie | 2011/01/07

I am almost 50. Believe it or not ladies my age do have affairs.

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Chikita | 2011/01/07

My affair started off with naughty chats via texting and on email ... and how old are you Curious? I must admit at the beginning the sms and emails were all very exciting and I could not wait to read my sms and emails from this man and I contributed to the naughty chats, I guess I was also guilty in a way of leading this man on as I can be a real tease ... okay I have admitted that I was wrong, but that still does not make me a bad person .... and yes it was very exciting and it made me feel so good to know that there was another man out there who found me attractive ...

Reply to Chikita
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Thanks for your reponse Gracie - i am sorry that he treated you so. How old are you?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Gracie | 2011/01/07

He treated me like cr*p in front of family and friends .. he excluded me from his life .. i cheated and that''s all there is to it!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Would one consider having naughty chats with someone via texting each other cheating?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Gracie if i may - why did you do it?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

I am getting really interseted in what i am hearing. Is it possible that i can chat to some of you ladies off this forum - i mean just chat.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Chikita | 2011/01/07

I am 40 something .... at my age I should know better but this man really, really knew how to play with my mind !!!

Reply to Chikita
Posted by: Gracie | 2011/01/07

Yes I have cheated ... now if you met the right woman, would you cheat then Curious??? And to Anon : no it is not always about s*x, sometimes it is about the way the other man treats us, the way we feel when we get the attention we need. I guess it is difficult for a man to understand something like that, I dunno!!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Thanks Chikita - may i ask how old are you?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Chikita | 2011/01/07

He started chatting to me and wooing me whilst I was going thru a difficult time and I fell for his BS hook, line and sinker ... telling me that I am beautiful and desirable and that he cannot understand how someone with my looks could possibly even be interested in talking to him ... he was so smooth ... I was stupid enough to fall for his BS and when I was hooked, he started treating me like dirt .... I should''ve known better, but I guess being in a bad place and suddenly getting all this attention did not help either ... no excuses really, what happened, happened and I feel guilty about it and won''t allow it to happen again ....

Reply to Chikita
Posted by: Anon | 2011/01/07

Does one perhaps cheat because one gets tired of the same thing and want to try something different?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

So i take it that you have cheated Gracie. As i mentioned in my posting above - i am in a " "  dead - end realationship"  but i have never cheated although i was tempeted several times. Guess i didnt find the right women at the time.
I give women a lot of attention and pass nice compliments.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Gracie | 2011/01/07

Sometimes when the love and attention at home is lacking and another man gives a lot of attention and nice compliments, we as women fall for it .... it does not make us a ho or a slut or anything else for that matter .....

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Why did you do it in the first place Chikita?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: chikita | 2011/01/07

Yes I have cheated and so did my husband ... but we are still together. Neither of us believes in divorce as we do not want our child to go through that trauma. We do not fight and still do things together as a family. A few months ago I cheated on him with a guy who I wish I never met ... he is crazy .... I doubt whether I will ever follow that path again ... don''t ever want to be caught up in an abusive relationship with a man who is not my husband .. he was a real pig ... always only spoke about s*x and what he wanted to do to me ...he was vile, disgusting, vulgar and a very nasty and moody person ...thank goodness I dumped his sorry a** before it got completely out of hand ... maybe he was my punishment for cheating .... there is no excuse to cheat and I am ashamed that I did it ....

Reply to chikita
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Well said Mystic River - may i ask have you ever cheated or considered it?

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Mystic River | 2011/01/07

Quality of relationships nowadays isnt so great either it seems, faithfulness isnt exactly the hallmark of most people plus what passes for " love"  in todays world is pretty much a joke, real love involves many things including sacrifices that need to be made which no one wants to make, its all about pleasure instant pleasure.

But I guess a person sees in the world whats in their heart, I am sure there are still many faithful people still around.

Love actually does never die, it just gets tainted or strange!

Reply to Mystic River
Posted by: Curious | 2011/01/07

Thanks Jordan - i agree with you. I am in a " dead - end realationship"  but i have never cheated although i was tempeted several times. Guess i didnt find the right women at the time.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Jordan | 2011/01/07

Hey there. Yes, you are right is seems. I think a lot of people are stuck in very unhappy relationships and instead of doing the right thing  that is break of the current bad relationship, and then go and do what you want to do. But from what I can make out everyone seems comfortable being in these dead-end relationships and then get a second breathe and decide to cheat and don''t seem to care that what they are doing is wrong. That just proves that love can die and if you don''t work on it and compromise then be prepared to either be the cheater or be cheated on.

Reply to Jordan

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