Posted by: Big Brother | 2004/12/20

Chat: When do you know?

How do you know when a relationship is going to work out or not. I mean, how do you know if you should carry on or not.

I've been seeing this girl now for about 3 weeks and things are going well, we haven't had any fights or anything like that, there is a spark between us, have loads to talk about and are comfortable with one another. Trouble is I don't see myself falling in love with her, there's just none of 'those' feelings from my side, which is very unfortunate because I really like her and am looking to get into a serious committed relationship.

What would be the best thing to do now, break it off? Wait awhile and see if these 'feelings' develop? I don't want to get into a situation where she tells me she loves me one day and I can't reciprocate, it's not fair on her, anyone else been in this type of situation before?

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Our users say:
Posted by: ben | 2004/12/20

can we meet and talk bout it, i was in de sam situation. i have all de answers. too muny facts and cant type it all, which city are u in? or give contact details

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Posted by: Big Brother | 2004/12/20

... you're right, just hellava bored at work and have way toooooo much 'thinking' time on my hands. OK, just going to enjoy the ride for now and see where it goes. By the way would be pretty sad if she was to go away for a month

Reply to Big Brother
Posted by: ... | 2004/12/20

Do you know what will happen next Valentine's Day? Do you even know in detail what will happen oin christmas day? I think not. But you are having a good time now aren't you? So why you trying so hard to get all the answers before even trying to see what happens.
Sometimes it does happen that we know straight away, sometimes it takes longer for the penny to drop. It is all just how you feel in the company of this person that allows you to think of things like lifetime together, kids, sharing a home, schooling, teenagers... then before you know it your daughter will be asking you how do you know when you really truly like someone...

It's good to be prepared, but I don't think it's good try have all the answers where relationships are concerned... it spoils the fun of the moment. Give it time Brother, doon't rush things. Besides, it's only been 3 weeks... Tell, what would happen right now if she said to you that she has to go away for a month... How would you feel?

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Posted by: Big Brother | 2004/12/20

Thanks Juz, i know what you're saying but in previous relationships I have always known if they were worth carrying on with or not. What I mean to say is that I knew and she knew whether we were just having fun or not and the other's I knew that I could develop feelings if you know what I mean but this time there's nothing. I mean I'm 27 and know what I want and don't want out of a relationship, just don't want to hurt this woman. Anyway, will give a few more weeks and then have a serious think and see how it goes.

Reply to Big Brother
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2004/12/20

hi there

three weeks is not long enough to know whether you are going to fall in love with her or not - people fall in lust first - love develops later - since seeeing you enjoy her company and really like her - I say give it a shot and see where it goes.
Dont rush into anything.
Good Luck

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