Posted by: G | 2004/12/10

Chat: Suicide

Hi, probably going to get shot down in flames for the following comments. But, I’ve been reading a few postings on this site over the weeks and this ‘suicide’ issue has got to me. I’m sorry but I don’t believe that life could get that bad and depressing that someone would want to end their life. I’ve been there, I know what it’s like to be depressed and not wanting to go on anymore but you do, you pick yourself up and carry on, that’s life and we learn to deal with it.

It boils my blood when people actually say “I can’t take it anymore, I want to die etc” I think of all the close people that I have loved and lost due to various illnesses and drunken drivers and it pisses me off that these people had to die when there are other people out there that are perfectly healthy and want to die. I think that anyone wanting to commit suicide is a coward and has no respect for life and if they have no respect for life then they have no respect for themselves and anyone else and probably don’t deserve to live anyway. Well, have had my vent..

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Our expert says:
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I understand your views, G. In my professional experience, I have worked with so many people whose actual situation in life, from disease, the cruelty of others, whatever, have been horrifyingly awful, and generally, they handled it with dignity and courage and without wanting to give up ; and I have also seen so many suicides and suicide-attempts, from people whose actual situation was enormously better than tha of the first group. The difference is worth exploring,
There's a lack of faith, in themselves or in anyone or anything else --- a profound tendency to give up really easily, to feel that life has to be wall-to-wall pleasant or I'll refuse to accpt it. A lack of problem-solving skills, or the real interest in persisting in finding solutions. A sense of being entitled to what one wants, and quickly ; or that somehow harming oneself is also intended to punish other people or the world in general, for not producing on demand. Do some people get taught, somehow, that life is supposed to be better than it realistically can be ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lynne | 2004/12/10

I fully agree with CS!
Life hurls all sorts of trouble our way - I do not know of a single person who has not had to face hardship at some time of other. And any person's pain is very real to themselves, there is no such thing as my pain being greater than yours.......
I also believe that pain and hardship reveal the immense love and support we receive from fellow human beings. We need to see that and accept what they give us. No one can do this life thing alone.
And don't you think that this life is like a test - if we do not pass it, we are doomed to repeat it until we learn the lesson?

Reply to Lynne
Posted by: lulu | 2004/12/10

Chemical imbalance most of the time, but not always. Meds don't work for everyone, Liza, and not just because it't the wrong type of meds. You're a little judgmental too here.

My opinion: NOTHING validates putting your loved ones through your suicide. It's selfish beyond the point of belief. It's a cowardly solution. Instead of just asking for help, they put loved ones through HELL.

Anyway, just my 2c worth.

Reply to lulu
Posted by: G | 2004/12/10

Liza, I actually have been there, that ‘deep dark hole’ you talk about, was down there for a good 12 months solid. One night I was actually in my room with a 38. special in my right hand, thinking all those feelings you just described and thinking of taking the easy way out. Didn’t have any divine intervention or anything just thought about people that don’t have a choice whether they live or die and family memebers and friends that I have lost and thought to myself, well I do have a choice and made my choice to live and to pick up the pieces and haven’t looked back since. Yes, maybe I am being a tad judgmental and even hypocritical but I suppose that’s just my way of thinking.

Reply to G
Posted by: p | 2004/12/10

Life is so beautiful...why take your own life.

Reply to p
Posted by: Liza | 2004/12/10

I cannot agree here. Anyone who wants to commit suicide is NOT 'perfectly healthy'. And truly doubt whether you have been there - in that deep dark hole where you just want to disappear from the face of the earth.

I know - because I've truly been there. Feeling that I don't have any purpose in life so why should I continue? And then feeling so depressed that I just cannot do it because I don't have the will or energy to do ANYTHING. I spent one night standing in the rain and crying - not the sobbing kind - just the tears running down my face continually. I wanted to die out there in the rain. Perhaps hoping that I would get double pneumonia and die that way. I just wanted to cease to exist.

Everyone deserves to live - if they are lucky enough to be granted the chance. And remember - depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain - a PHYSICAL disorder. Not just 'in the mind'. This is why anti-depressants actually work. And not just because we believe they will work (since I've been on some that didn't work for me).

Perhaps you are just being a tad judgemental about somewhere you've never been? Not that I doubt you've been depressed. But THAT depressed? That I cannot believe, or you wouldn't be posting.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: G | 2004/12/10

Luck had nothing to do with it. It’s a primal instinct to want to live and to want to carry on has been ever since we started walking on two legs. Yes, it’s hard to pick up the pieces but life is hard and people who take the easy way out are undeserving of that life in the first place.

Reply to G
Posted by: Bee | 2004/12/10

A few weeks ago, I was driving in my new home town, and saw a man lying in the street, his body was smouldering and he was screaming in agony. He had doused himself in petrol and set fire to himself in the middle of the road. What drives someone to that? It's impossible to know. You are lucky, you were able to pick yourself up and carry on.

Reply to Bee

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