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Posted by: Tee | 2004/12/14

Chat : CP MOM

Hi CP Mom,
I have also been visiting this forum on a regular basis - dont often write much but read the postings everyday.
I just want to say that I admire what you have done for your daughter. I had my son at 36 and was worried when I had a amnio done for downs syndrome. My doctor told me then that only very special people are given special children.
The move from Margate to JHB must have been heartbreaking.
My mom moved to Ramsgate 6 years ago, my son was born in the Margate Private hospital. I would love to have stayed there but could not find a job that paid more than R2000 per month.
Would you have moved to JHB if it had not been for your daughter??

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Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

You also have a lovely evening.
Hope 2 chat 2 you soon
Take care

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: Just watching | 2004/12/14

CP MOM & GTI,

Thanks - it has been a real pleasure "chatting" to you. Going to fetch my little one.

Hope you have a great evening.

Reply to Just watching
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

With all the screwing going on...thats why we have AIDS.
Society is corrupt & why did the grandparents relationships last because they had love & trust in each other...unlike 2day!

I hope i don't find a girl thats up 2 nonsense...

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

God helped you CP Mom.Well i think you doing very well as a single mother...Charne, could not ask 4 a better mother.

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

And then you get those folks (usually happy in a relationship) who tell you : DON'T LOOK IT WILL COME TO YOU... yeah right....I've been waiting 7 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But looking around me there is just so much cheating, screwing around etc. I hadly know anybody who's happy? Think about it what happened to the people like our parents and grand parents who had marriages for like 40 years ? Huh ?

I made a mistake I suppose to get married when I was barley 19...... But I was a decent afrikaans girl and was told you had to be married to have sex... hee hee

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Get any men/women & you will end up in a f##ked up relationship.You marry 4 love, beauty & happiness not just anybody.

My mother/sister say that they know one girl i should go & check out...but i aint interested.i will look 4 myself!!!

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

7 years. Charne was 2 months old..... Financially it was very difficult when I wanted to leave him my mom said to me that I'll always have a plate of warm food should I decide to leave him. I moved into a lady from the church's "maid's room" and lived there for a year and ate at my mom's house. Still don't know how I paid all the bills. But I did and we were never hungry or did not have a roof over our heads....

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

My sister is 26 and yes I can see her starting to get to the stage where she want's to settle and have a baby. Unfortunately she's prepared to settle for a poepol just to get that (see the posting where she used the nic PK)...... Don't ever make that mistake.... She feels that rather have ANYBODY than NOBODY....

Aai GTI you sound like a great laaitjie... u'll probably meet girl nr 3 and leave both the others !

You get Mr. Right and Mr. Right NOW...

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

CP Mom, you deserve a caring husband.I can't imagine how difficult it must be to raise a disabled child both financialy & physically.

How long has it bean since you left your husband?

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

Dear GTi

I have NEVER seen a long distance relationship work. There is just soooo much against it.... Yes you have to spend time together. Seeing someone every now and then doesnt give you time to really see their true colours....

I was talking to blackbird during the last get2gether and I think me and him feel the same at the moment : IF THIS RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT WORK - THEN FVCK IT! that's it - that's me done.....

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Yes being single allows me freedom but then a time come in your life when you need a women & i think now is my time.I need to find someone soon or choose between the 2 kladies that i have.

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

When I dirrent give Nè "back" he started cheating on me and I took her and left him. Never saw him again ! Being a single Mom with a CP child IS NOT EASY. Your friends and family only help sooo much and then they have exchuses. My mom's always been great and has helped a lot - but at the age of 66 she just can't anymore - Nè is just getting a "little to much" for her. So I never ever have like a weekend for myself. Sumtimes my mom tries but it's hard for her.

I have a friend who always tells me how impatient I am. Then I think yes it's easy for you to say coz ur husband takes your disabled child every Wednesday nite and every 2nd weekend and school holiday..........

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Yep, i feel the same way.I don't wanna rush into marriage.
But i hope that by next year i find someone that im happy with.

Time is against you so maybe the man you currently
dating is Mr Right...
I also in contact with a girl from JHB, im from Cape Town but i feel long distance relationships are difficult.You need to spend time with person you love & being so far it makes it very difficult.What do you think????

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: Just watching | 2004/12/14

Hey GTI,

I do not see them as "problems/disapointments" anymore - I see them as challenges. Problems get you down and challenges just takes you a little longer to through.

Reply to Just watching
Posted by: Just watching | 2004/12/14

It seems that we are all looking for the right one. Still looking for someone special too. Single mom. CP MOM - did you and your hubby split? One of the great things about being a single mom is that I don't have to share the hugs and kisses - I know that it sounds selfish - but hey sometimes you can be... What I find amazing is that when you have been up the whole night with a little one that has been sick and you have to go to work - one little smile from them makes it all worthwhile. Feels like I can take on the whole world.

GTI - you will know...

Reply to Just watching
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

Jip i'm 37 !

You have for ever being a man.

My time is limited and to still find a man to love and trust and and and in this world of ours......

If you're unsure,baby .... then it aint' her, sorry

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Im turning 28...still young.
How old are you...probably in your 30's????
I have 2 girls but i think my fear is commitment & im unsure if this is the women that i love????

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

Fanks GTI - I am currently dating a very wonderful man - hoping that he is MR. Right - it's a different relationship to the one's I've had before..... but I don't want to jinx it so shhhhhh

How old are you GTI?

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

CP Mom...maybe you will find someone soon Then you can have your own children.Plenty men out there that needs a wife like you.

Not all men are the same 'poepols'...im like trying to find the right women & you trying 2 find the right men.

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

Yes GTI and then above this you meet the one poepol after the other - who knows your situation and your pain and all the sheeeet you've gone through and then they still use you, use your car, move into your house... but that's a whole other story!!!

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

Jip JW - I still cannot believe the love one feels for a child - you can never explain it to someone who does not have one. You just love no-one like that!

Jip we gotta be woman of steel to take this sheeeet!!!Unfortunately (and i'm gonna be attacked for this...) I've stopped praying and believing in God ..... I'm glad JW that you have remained this strong and still believe....

GTI - it will be the best experience of your life when you have a kiedie !

I still have a vague hope that I'll meet a GREAT man and trust him enough and believe in him enough to have my "own" child...... mens mag seker maar droom.... :-((

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Im still very far from having my own kids.I must first find a nice girl...have a few in mind but nothing serious happening at the moment.Maybe the new year will bring me luck.

Both of you ladies have had your fair share of problems/disapointments.

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: Just watching | 2004/12/14

Yep - people used to say to me "this will make you strong" - Yeah I though - how much stronger - "Die (wo)Man van Staal"??? Don't you agree CP MOM? Was though and sometimes still is, but the most important thing that I learnt is to love and treasure and live what I have in my life. As my gynae said to me when I wanted to have my baby sexed when I was pregnant - he said "this is a gift from God and it is one present that we do not open before the time". She is definately my gift, joy, happiness and she gives the sweetest "baby hugs".

GTI - you will not regret having children. I am sure CP MOM can back me up. They are the moments that take our breaths away.

Reply to Just watching
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Hi Just Watching

Sorry to hear about the death of your son.I can't wait to have my own kids one day...maybe in the 5 years.To loose a child so young must be very painful...but no you have a little 'angel' in your life.

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

What could I do ? I was married for 11 years 8 ot fhose trying to have a baby - then I get this pretty little girl after praying, swearing, crying for another 2 years and then love her with all my heart to find out "she's not lekker" what must I do "just give her back"? How the hell do you do that ? It's not her fault !

Later with brain scans etc. we found out that the damage to the right of her brain was because of a failed abortion attempt.... Jip thank god it was a closed adoption coz I would have KILLED the mother had i known her!!!!!!

Just Wondering - you've been to hell and back as well. I know they say it's to make us stronger but fvck how much stronger do they want us to get ? hmmmm .... ja let me stop before I get bitter.....

Thanks for the kind words people - it's much appreciated!

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: Just watching | 2004/12/14

Hi CP MOM,

Wow - you are really special. Got gooseflesh reading your reply. She is really lucky to have you in her life. You are truley amazing. How old is Ne now?

I have an almost 5 year old girl and love her to death. She is really special to me. I was told that I could not have any children then I had my little boy. He was born with a serious heart problem and died at 6 months from complications to his open heart surgery. I was shattered, but when I found out I was pregnant again - words cannot express what I felt. I treasure ever moment with her. She is like my bright Christmas tree that lights up my life all year round. In Jan is the anniversary of my boys death - 7 years now.

Reply to Just watching
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Well im impressed.You kept the baby although you could have adopted another one.

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

GTI : when I adopted her she was a day old baby i did not know, only found out when she didnt develop "normal" ...... she was 6 weeks old my hubby wanted to "give her back" to child welfare as "we could always adopt a NORMAL child" later... we waited for 2years on the adoption list and did artificial insemination for 8 years - it end us he's the sterile one... maar nou ja !

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: GTI | 2004/12/14

Oh, thats touching, you adopted a kid that suffers from CP.
There a quiet a few amazing people in this forum...

Regards
GTI

Reply to GTI
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/12/14

Hi dear. You are to kind - especially on a day I feel a tiny little bit "mislik".....

I loved Margate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lived there since I was 2 for 34 years!!!
I loved my job (looking out over the sea),
I loved my townhouse, 3 bedroom, pool, etc. for R1800 per month, I loved my old second hand nissan sentra, I loved the cresche Nè was in since she was 3 weeks old. I could not get maternity leave due to the fact that "she was not my child" but adopted, so I only took my 3 weeks leave and thereafter she was in that cresche so they knew her and all her "geite"!

No I would not have :-((

My 1 sister has always (since leaving school) lived in JHB and my Mom moved here 1 year previously so at least they were here. I could have moved to Durban but I knew no-one there....

Reply to CP MOM

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