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Question
Posted by: V | 2005/11/22

Cellphone Privacy?

My boyfriend admitted to me this morning that he had browsed through my cellphone messages while i was in the shower. He said he's not proud of himself but he feels i am hiding something from him. There is absolutely nothing to hide on my phone, so i am not angry about that, but just the thought that he go through my private things without my consent.
I am very dissappointed and feel my privacy is 0%. Obviously he will then go through my handbag and other personal things too?
How do I handle this situation, i am not sure???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't do cellphone / SMS questions any more, but I do believe that every cellphone sold should carry a government health warning, like a cigarette pack.
otherwise --- relationship counselling

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Deeve | 2005/11/22

Read all this with total intrigue! I have had two long term relationships - one of 17 years, and the current now of 5 years. I have always shared everything, never hidden anything, and never checked up on anyone. I have my own space too when required - but invariably never go anywhere but to the shops on my own - own choice. I have also never been possesive about my cell phone, computer login etc etc.I do however, totally respect my partners space, and possesions!! I have noticed though, that a lot of other couples have very private and separate existances. Money is kept separate, friends are divided etc etc. What I sense is that couples never talk!! A lack of communication from day one causes most of these misunderstandings. Your boyfriend may have issues, that caused him to snoop. I agree - he should have asked if he wanted to 'use' your phone. Talk to him about this - get life out in the open - communication, and lots more communication. A life of people playing games is definitely not on. This is still early days in your relationship.
Best of luck

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: V | 2005/11/22

Ons is 'n jaar saam, en dit gaan nie oor die boodskappe wat hy gelees het nie, maar die feit dat hy gewag het dat ek uit die vertrek is en dit toe gedoen het, die feit dat hy skelm agter my rug is en my so daardeur laat voel of ek 'n boef is, my probeer uitvang het op iets, hoeveel vertroue is daar dan van sy kant af in my? Nee hy het geen rede om my nie te vertrou nie. Ons werk saam en is na werk ook altyd saam. Hierdie naweek het hy saam met vriende uitgegaan en my alleen by die huis gelos, so vrydag en saterdag was ek alleen, en toe nou vanoggend die storie. Ek kry so half die gevoel dis 'n kwessie van agter die deur staan, en nou probeer hy my ook daar soek.

Reply to V
Posted by: Helena of Troy | 2005/11/22

T R U S T :


T 4 truth
R 4 respeck
U 4 understanding
S 4 space
T 4 time

Reply to Helena of Troy
Posted by: Maya | 2005/11/22

My kerel antwoord ook glad nie my foon nie, en lees ook nie my sms'e nie. Ek antwoord ook nie sy foon nie, alhoewel ek soms sy boodskappe sal lees. Nie een van ons twee het iets om weg te steek nie en ek het daarom ook geen probleem om hom te vra om vir my iets in my handsak te bring of so nie. Dis mos waaroor vertroue gaan. As jy niks het om weg te steek nie, moenie 'n issue daarvan maak nie. Darem is hy trots op jou, onthou mans het maar die jaloerse streek!

Reply to Maya
Posted by: Dev | 2005/11/22

I was about to post the same problem, but on my side is my b/f who doesn't want me touch his phone, which I found a bit funny, giving me some suspecious mind, making me thing lots of things, as I leave mine lying anywhere,if he browses thru is fine with me as long as he doesn't do that because he suspects something but just going thru it just for the fun of it...
Should it be any privacy in a relationship, ain't we suposse to share anything?maybe there is something I am missing here, pls clearify it for me...

Reply to Dev
Posted by: Wit Zombie | 2005/11/22

Hi CP Mom! Ja, CP Mom het ook n punt beet. Miskien was ek bietjie te reguit. Dis nie lekker om te snoop nie. Dis wierd. Partykeer as die een partner skuldig voel oor iets dan blame hulle die partner vir die ding waaroor hulle eintlik diep binne in hulleself skuldig voel. Dis baie sensitief. Hoe lank is julle al saam?

Reply to Wit Zombie
Posted by: Wit Zombie | 2005/11/22

Dis sommer stront hoor! Wie dink hy is hy? n verhouding word gebou op vertroue en as mens nie jou partner vertrou nie is daar groot fout.

Reply to Wit Zombie
Posted by: CP Mom | 2005/11/22

You need to discuss this with him and ask him WHAT is it that makes him feel you are hiding something...there is obviously something bothering him.

It's not nice that he snooped but as a x-snooper myself I understand that sometimes we feel insecure or scared of losing the person we love the most and then want to make sure all's ok.

CS - I know you hate snooping!

Reply to CP Mom

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