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Question
Posted by: Deric | 2007/06/21

CC: Breats Augmentation

My wife is going in, in the near future. I understand why she wants to go...
Since the beginning I said, I could not care less whether she goes or not, as I don’t want her to go, thinking that I want her to do that! It must be her choice. Now I'm being accused of un-supportiveness.
The real thing is I love her as she is, and will love her just as much, whether she goes or not. What are your views on implants and lift? She thinks I will love the “new her” more. I think it will give her better self-esteem, but the idea of always having to know, she is not “real” anymore, will always be in the back of my head.
Its her body and her choice, but I wished she didn't want to go...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe she hasn't quite heard what you have been saying. She clearly wants to feel supported by you, so make it clear that you do and will support her through the surgical ordeal, but very clearly say to her exactly hat you have said here --- that you love her exactly as she is, and will love her just as much whether or not she has the surgery. But that if she chooses to go ahead with it to suit her own wishes, you will support her and wish her well. You can say there's no room for you to love the surgically enhanced her any more than you already do. At an earlier stage it could have been practical to suggest that she spend some preparatory time seeing a good local CBT counsellor to work on her self-esteem --- and then see whether she still felt in need of the surgery.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ? | 2007/06/22

Hi Deric,

Just consider one thing. It is important for your wife to know that you love her the way she is, but it is just as important for her to feel good about herself. And that in fact is not only based on your opinion of her.

?

Reply to ?
Posted by: Deric | 2007/06/21

The fact that she is going for the operation has in a way to do with self esteem... but there is a medical reason as well. Even as far as that the medical aid is willing to pay for part of the operation, although they don't normally pay for cosmetic surgery...

Reply to Deric

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