Our expert says:
Maybe she hasn't quite heard what you have been saying. She clearly wants to feel supported by you, so make it clear that you do and will support her through the surgical ordeal, but very clearly say to her exactly hat you have said here --- that you love her exactly as she is, and will love her just as much whether or not she has the surgery. But that if she chooses to go ahead with it to suit her own wishes, you will support her and wish her well. You can say there's no room for you to love the surgically enhanced her any more than you already do. At an earlier stage it could have been practical to suggest that she spend some preparatory time seeing a good local CBT counsellor to work on her self-esteem --- and then see whether she still felt in need of the surgery.
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