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Question
Posted by: MIMI | 2003/12/11

CAUGHT UP

I HAVE INTEREST TO A MAN AT WORK,WHOM IM SURE HE FEELS THE SAME ABOUT ME.WE ARE ALWAYS CALLING EACH OTHER SENDING EMAILS SHARING LUNCH AND ALL.EVEN AT NIGHT WE ARE FOREVER TALKING.BUT THEN MY PROBLEM IS THAT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND THEY HAVE A 10 MONTHS OLD BABY.AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO DISTRUCT HIM FROM THE GIRLFRIEND AND THE BABY.BUT THEN WHAT ABOUT WHAT I FEEL. I KEEP MY DISTANCE FROM HIM IT HURTS I GET CLOSE I DON'T WANT TO BREAK THE OTHER WOMANS HEART AND MOREOVER THAT THE BABY IS SO YOUNG I WOULK LIKE FOR HIM TO BE THERE FOR THEM FOREVER.SHOULD I DO THE NOBLE THING AND GET OUT OF THE WAY?AND MAYBE MINE WILL COME ALONG WHO WILL BE AVAILABLE.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Mimi,
It's not difficult. he likes flirting with you, but in doing so he is revealing himself as a louse who is unfaithful to his gf and child, and thus someone quite likely in time to do the same to you. Be noble. He isn't available, and he isn't anywhere as nice as he may have seemed at first.
I remember reading Kingsley's The Water Babies as a kid, and there were two memorable characters. One was Mrs Do-As-You-Would-Be-Done-By ( in other words -- treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself ) and the other was Mrs be-Done-By-As-You-Did ( in other words, what goes around, comes around ).
There's a much better guy you haven't met yet ; and you know the right thing to do, already.

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Our users say:
Posted by: lady nina | 2003/12/11

hi girl

since you don't have a baby at home maybe you don't have an idea what happens in the first 2 years after a new baby is born

this guy is being neglected at home and believe me it's not due to his lady being in the wrong, he should be the one supporting her helping her with the chores and baby - making her work load lighter and that way reaping the rewards.

instead he has shown his true colours by chosing the easy way - flirting with a 3rd party and showing no respect for his current relasionship or child....

don't get involved !!!!! go and speak to the mother of his child and get a picture of how things will be for you in a couple of years time, should you continue on this road

get out !

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: ec | 2003/12/11

I agree with Molly's good advise - do the noble thing and save yourself a lot of problems. Imagine how you'll feel if you were in the girlfriends shoes. Find someone who is unattached and is interested only in you. Trust me you'll be much happier!

Reply to ec
Posted by: Molly | 2003/12/11

I think you know the answer yourself. The test is always "how will I feel if someone does this to me?". There is nothing wrong with being friends with someone, but when feelings are developing you are on dangerous grounds. I think you should do the right thing and keep your distance. Meet other people, you might just be fascinated with him for what he represents, a good partner and father? And if he leaves them for you, then you will always have the fear that someone might take him form you again.
Ask him what his girlfriend says about all the phone calls and sms's, he might also just be looking for sideline entertainment, and I don't think you want to be that.

Reply to Molly
Posted by: Jasmine | 2003/12/11

Be noble.

Reply to Jasmine

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