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Question
Posted by: Sad | 2004/02/17

Caught out!

My gf and i have been dating for almost 2years. We had issues but not that we wanted to break up. But on valentines day i found out that she had something going on with another guy. We had a huge argument and then she told me its because im boring in and outside the bedroom. I tried everything i could to keep her happy in the time we were together and she told me sex was great. So i dont understand what changed. I spoke to the other guy and he told me she didnt even tell him she had someone. And then she wanted to break up. We had a chat and she promised me she wont do it again but i just cant get to trust her. The things she said didnt make sense! Must i carry on with this relationship or move on? I really love her but she dont love me anymore! Its difficult for me to see her with someone else! I PLEASE need advice!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Sad,
It sounds as if there's more to be mistrustful about that her brief afair with this other guy, who she seems to have short-changed, too. What's more worrying for a good long-term relationship, is that she either lied to you about her relationship with you, or at least was highly misleading about it. If anything, in or out of the bedroom, was boring for her, she ignored the fact that (a) there was a great deal positive that she could have done about that on her own initiative, and (b) that there was nothing you could do if she failed to inform you of how she was feeling. And of course remember that the mere fact that she said things had been boring for her, does not mean either than she was actually bored, or that you were or are boring --- she needed some sort of an excuse for her own misconduct, and apparently that was all she could think of.
It sounds as if you have a great and excellent capaciy for love, but I'm not sure whether she does. I suspect you deserve, and could do, much better. Why not move on ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: JZ | 2004/02/17

Know you don't wanna hear this, but...........Dump her!!! She does not know what she wants. As Liz says....plenty more f ish in the sea.
Good Luck

Reply to JZ
Posted by: Liz | 2004/02/17

Hi there
I agree dump her its not worth continuing the relationship with her as she will do it again trust me I have been in the same boat If she was really in love with you she would not have behaved like this, there are many fish in the sea , be storng and good luck.

Reply to Liz
Posted by: Charms | 2004/02/17

Hi Caught OUt!

I can imagine how you are feeling, because I've been through the same & I was married. GET RID OF HER! I know you don't want to hear this & I say this with much respect - if she does it once, she'll do it again and I feel that that's guaranteed.

Always remember you didn't cause her to have an affair. She's big enough & old enough to actually know what she was doing. She made the choice NOT YOU!

I'm sorry you had to go through that - it's not easy.. But chin up, there is hope.

Reply to Charms

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