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Question
Posted by: Unknown | 2004/11/29

Caught Maturbating

Hi Expert & Teens
Please help!!!
I accidently caught my son masturbating last night.How should i approach/handle this situation?Im a single mum & don't know what to do.My sons 14 years old...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi there,

he is probably very embarrassed, so unless he mentions it, it is best to not say anything. If he does then just say sorry for intruding.

Did you just walk into his bedroomor the bathroom? If so from now on, given his age, please knock and then wait for him to say come in before you go into his room. From now on he needs his privacy.

Try not to worry too much, just give him his space.

Best wishes

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Unknown | 2004/12/02

You are truly a great "Dad"
Thank you for sharing your experience.

Reply to Unknown
Posted by: Jakes | 2004/12/02

Hi,
So far, I think the advice is good. I'm a married guy with three kids - i.e. I'm normal, I suppose; and as a teen I wanked at every opportunity. This made me feel guilty, filthy from inside, yet it gave me strange form of security... and I desperately wanted to know that I was ok despite the stuff I did.

So, I think the best thing you can do is to ignore the embarrassment and the incident, and then find some time during the next few days to assure your son of your love for him. Don't refer to the incident unless he does, and tell him that you will always love him and that he gives you great joy when you look at him or when you think of him. And if he touches on the subject, then and only then do you apologise for intruding on his privacy.

The conclusion I came to after many years, and the advice I've given my boys is that masturbating is bit like picking your nose: really obnoxious to do where others could see you, yet totally OK in private when you really, really, really need to do it. I do not encourage it as it really is, in a sense, a waste of time... and by the way, in my experience wet dreams are far nicer!

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/12/01

hi there

i would not make a bigg issue of this - it's normal

i would however try and find a moment to let him know that he need not feel guilty about it as long at it's done in the privacy of him room -

many a child suffered because of the guilt

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: K | 2004/11/29

Hi

i have 4 sons older than yours but fortunately I have never found myself in your situation.

Not even sure what I would apart from at the time perhaps apologize profusely for intruding on his privacy and then possibly forget about it unless he wants to talk about it or ask questions.

Not sure if everyone would agree.

Reply to K

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