Posted by: angry with ex | 2004/03/02

case of the ex

when i was 18&in matric i had a steady boyfriend we dated for almost 2 years until i found out he was cheating on me with his best friends sister.i dumped his ass like a hot potato&still he bothered me.a month later after the break up i found out that i was 1 month pregnant AND the bitch he cheated me with was 2 months pregnant how i dont know.i changed my cellphone number& house number but he still did everything to see me.his baby was a stillborn&i`m glad about that it`s almost 2 years since i lost his child&still the mother -|- er bothers me.i hate him for what he put me thru&i`ll NEVER forgive him not now not ever.he doesn`t want to leave me alone,i mean he has his other baby&woman.he tells my friends he`ll never stop loving me&that he doesn`t love the other woman&he`ll do absolutely anything to get me back but it`s pointless coz i despise him.yes i chose to go thru the pregnancy alone coz he is skum&his girlfriend.i went for HIV tests i couldnt believe he`d do such a thing but what happened,happened when he chose to pull down his pants he lost me forever but how do i deal with this pig? coz it still hurts,losing my baby,cheating on me...

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Our expert says:
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Dear a with e,
it's far too late now for him to do "anything" to get you back --- he should have done "everything" right a long time ago. Of course you're still hurt --- he was and is a bum, and not worthy of you. So there's no question of your wanting him back, surely. If he is harassing you, tell him, in a leter ( keep a copy ) to stop and never to contact you again. If he continues to harass you, see a lawyer or the police, and get a restraining order to force him to not contact you at all.
There's no need to forgive him for his sake --- leave him to stew in the juices he created and make his own gravy.
But it's worthwhile for you to see a counsellor and "forgive" in the sense of letting go of all that bitterness and anger so as to set yourself free for a happy future without him, and without letting those bonds of bitterness tie you to him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: volcano | 2004/03/02

Moving to the moon will not solve your problem as the baggage you need to get rid of will move with you. As the C/S has suggested, you have to find help in order to let go as you 'hatred' is causing more hurt and damage to you at the moment than to him. Good luck.

Reply to volcano
Posted by: Me | 2004/03/02

I don't blame you for feeling that way about him.Especially that you chose to carry his child to term and gave birth to a still born and his other girlfriend got to have his baby.Thats really painful and not acceptable.You have alot of pain and anger inside and i think you need help with dealing with everything.Either go for counselling or move to another country where he can never get hold of you to remind you of your pain.Since the last option of relocating is quiet far fetched, i suggest you go for counselling.Hes not worth the pain he is causing you and you need to tell yourself that and don't allow him to make you feel so bad.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Ulrike | 2004/03/02

My heart goes out to you. But, it seems like you are still very bitter of what happend to you. Get professional help. This will put a lot of strain on your next relationship, and it will probably be a very nice and decent guy that deserves you. Good luck!!!

Reply to Ulrike
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/03/02

dear girl

i can understand your anger and bitterness and it's totally justified

however hate and anger and bitterness will destroy you and all chances you have of a happy life - be careful who you hate and dispise it's a heavy burden to carry

go for professional help and get rid of this baggage - you deserve to be free to love and enjoy life


Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Broke Heart | 2004/03/02

Listen girl, he is a bastard. Put the police on his ass and get a restraining order. He makes me sick. Good 4 u that u gave him the boot. Forget about him and the hurt he caused. Move on.
U will find someone better.

Reply to Broke Heart

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