Our expert says:
How much luckier can a man be, thn to have an intelligent woman in his life ! You describe WHAT you do when there's a quarrel, but not why, as it hurts her and is of no value to you, to do so. Why on earth haven't the pair of you worked with a couples counsellor, to sort out this maladaptive pattern ? Individual counselling in addition, could help you work out why you adopt so many self-defeating habits and to change them to more fruitful ways of relating to her and others.
Why play coy games, insisting on waiting for her to contact you first ? what do you gain from doing that ? But instead of waiting round debating this, just go ahead and contact her, and see what happens. work towards working with a counsellor together to avoid pushing her into not caring for you
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