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Question
Posted by: anna | 2004/02/09

cannot trust again

Hi

My biggest problem is TRUST. Last year I was going through a bitter process of divorce and I was also pregnant. The divorce came up after a lot of hurting whereby my husband had a lot or relationship and there was no respect for me as a wife. and he showed an attitute that he does not care. Any way a week before the final date of divorce he came across to apologise, stating that he is realising what he is going to loose, should we go our separate ways.

I did not want to hear anything because he hurt me far many time. As he was apologising for the first time I saw him cry and he even involved a couple to show the seriousness of his apology. I said I would consider giving our marriage a second change only he met a few of the conditions I laid, he did and up unitl now he still meeting them.

The proble is I cannot bring myself to trusting him at all no matter how hard he tries to make things perfect between us, and mistrust is really making us to fight over petty things, and I can see the marriage wont survive because of the way I am carrying on.

How do I learn to trust again.

PLEASE HELP

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear anna,
There are no specific lessons to teach this skilll, especially in circumstances like these, when you have to balance a preparedness to be reasonably trusting, with a wariness not wanting to be hurt again. Why don't the two of you work on the twin tasks of You becoming appropriatwely trusting but not gullible, and him becoming more trustworthy, within marriage counselling ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Guitar | 2004/02/10

Hi there. I do not believe in giving people a second chance. He will pretend that he has changed for now, and later go back to his old ways. I know from experience, my mom has given my dad so many chances in life. They have spent more than thirty five years together, they have just moved into seperate bedrooms. You can make a choice to be miserable or be happy all your life, the ball is in your court.

Reply to Guitar
Posted by: tacha | 2004/02/09

Hi I think you must be open to him and tell him how you feel, that you dont trust him. And why you dont trust him, so that if you want can sort it out. Comunication is a really big thing in a relationship. But it all depends on you if you still want him or not. Seems like he is really sorry for what he did and he is trying real hard to make it work, than so must you. Good luck.

Reply to tacha

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