Posted by: MMM | 2004/01/21


I was dumped last month by my girlfriend who happens to be pregnant and the baby is mine.The reason for her dumping was that one day late at night she phoned me being sick, but I could not be there because I was far away, and suggested that she must look for a nearby transport that can help.

The following day she phoned me to say she doesnt need anything from me (she is unemployed) with regard to the child, she will find her way out, for bringing up the child ,but she doesnt want my support at all. Again I was told that I wont even see that child when born (April).

So I phoned her parents about the matter then they said they will speak to her and come back to me.Until this far I have not had any positive respone from them.
My problem is she is denying me to see the baby and take part in its development when the baby comes to the world, and I really want to support my baby, but she does not want anything to do with me.
I dont know whether is she using this as a form of punishment to me / what? I dont understand that how come that she is not employed but she denies me the right to support the child, how is she going to take care of the child?.Or is she going to sue me for maintanance later on, and how am I going to deal with these maintanance issue, since I want to support my child in every aspect of life, not only give him a certin portion of my support, but my 100% support without courts interferring.
I just want to move on with my life and forget about these, but at the same time I think it will be as if I am the bad person who does not take care of his baby.
Please give me any advise.

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Our expert says:
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MMM, hopefully she’s just angry and will come o her senses within the next couple of days. The courts will not order you to maintenance and refuse you access to your child, so don’t worry about that. The best would be to be patient and hopefully every thing will work out fine. Good luck.

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Our users say:
Posted by: DEAR CISKA | 2004/01/23


Posted by: ciska | 2004/01/22


I think that she might be very angry at you, because she was relying on you to pick her up wherever she was. Unfortunately you couldn't and sometimes we (women) overreact and do things without thinking of the consequences of our actions. Maybe you should leave her for a few days to calm down and then try to talk to her and explain the situation you were in. I think that she was quite nasty to you and therefore you should be very careful when you approach her. Do not get mad at her or anything. Just be calm and try to talk about this.

I'm not a psychologist, but I'm just tryint to help. I know it's not easy. Women aren't!

Good luck!

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