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Question
Posted by: Elsie | 2005/07/05

Cannot forgive and forget easily

I have been with my bf for 3 years and I have just found out that he has been seeing this woman for the past 2 months. He said he loves me and will tell the other woman that it is over. I said to him for me to forgive and forget the whole thing, I have to be there when he tells the other woman that it is over. Am I being impossible or am I doing the right thing? Because I don' t trust him and I think he will not end it with the other woman if I let him do it on his own...Please help.

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Our expert says:
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if he loved you so much, why did he start up that other relationship in the first place ? it's a reasonable suggestion that you want to see him tell the other woman that it is over, though he's unlikely to accept that suggestion. Better still, get him to agree to work with you in marriage counselling, to see i this relationshp can be healed properly, or not

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Our users say:
Posted by: Worried | 2005/07/05

Men are really hard to please. All I can say to you never trust a human being. I've been involved with someone for less than 2 months and now he has ended up his long term relationship just for someone he has just met. I hop you will be doing the rite thing to be there when he tells the other woman. Although I trully dont think its a wise thing to do, what comes around goes around. You have to learn to trust him all over again. What if he'll drop you the same way like he did with his current boyfriend. Can you imagine the humilation on that other woman's face? I dont you should be there he must sort out his own mess and dont get involved.

Reply to Worried
Posted by: flower | 2005/07/05

you know what I would do, be present when he dumps her for you, then turn around and dump him.

Once a cheater always a cheater, even if it takes 20 years, he will do it again. Once is too many!

good luck

Reply to flower
Posted by: lulu | 2005/07/05


Three years or three months, he has no respect for you or your relationship. Trust and Opportunity are the same. Once lost, you cannot get it back.

I wouldn't want to go with him to break it off. I would do it FOR him and then kick his sorry butt out too.

You deserve better. Move on and let him break someone else's heart.

Reply to lulu
Posted by: EE | 2005/07/05

If you are wise, you will end your relationship. You cannot be in an intimate relationship that will ever be worth the while if you cannot trust him. If you do not trust him now (and he actually gave you valid reason) how will you trust and really respect him in the future. You might feel now that you love him too much and cannot live without him, but if you marry or stay with him, do you believe he will never do it again? If it is not in his value system to be trustworthy, do you want to share your life with him? Please know and believe that you are better off alone than with somebody and unhappy. And also KNOW THAT YOU CAN MEET SOMEONE IN THE FUTURE WHOM YOU WILL REALLY BE ABLE TO TRUST AND RESPECT AND THEN LOVE (that is actually the order)

Reply to EE
Posted by: Purr | 2005/07/05

Beware the most important thing in a relationship namely trust has been broken and you never get it back.You will always wonder if he might be up to no good etc.Rather leave him and find a soulmate that respect and love you and treat you as he would like to be treated.

Reply to Purr
Posted by: Jen | 2005/07/05

Youre brave and very trusting to believe he wont do it again!

I would DEFINATELY be there when he tells her it is over...but ...that is not stopping it at all. It might just be stopping it with that particular woman.

Id move on quickly to find Mr Right

Reply to Jen

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