Posted by: Wife | 2007/05/24

Can't stand being touched!

Hi doc,

I have a very difficult question. I have a wonderful husband who cares about me a lot. He is great with the children (two year old twins), helps me wherever he can and is physically quite attractive.

My problem is that I can't stand it when he touches me! It is as if I know what is to follow when he touches me, especially in the bedroom, and I don't want to have sex anymore. I have always not been very keen on sex, but ever since the birth of my twins, it is even worse. I really hate myself for this, because he is the best husband any woman can ask for. My gynae says it is because I am tired and it will blow over - but the twins are not that demanding anymore and it is not blowing over.

I guess this is something in my head that I have to deal with. But is there any kind of medication that I can try to get my libido up a bit? I do have a very stressful job and when sleeptime comes, I just want to hit the pillow and sleep. But still, I need to do something!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGynaeDoc

As you say, it isn most liekly bthat the problem is in your head. The sexologist would be the person to consult.

Best wishes

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Our users say:
Posted by: MEraai | 2007/05/25

I can fully understand what you are going through.... My duaghter is als 2 years and i feel exaclty the same. I love my Hubby with everything in my, but hate touching.........
I went o dr to give me inj that did not help. I am so scared of loosing him, i can not imagine life without him.........

Reply to MEraai
Posted by: ...... | 2007/05/25

what contraceptive are you on? Seriously, look into THAT too.....

Reply to ......
Posted by: Nicky | 2007/05/24

this could just be a shot in the dark, but could this not be postnatel depression??? perhaps just investigate the symptoms, and see, good luck though.

Reply to Nicky
Posted by: Fairie | 2007/05/24

I know it will be hard to speak to him....But if you are this against him touching you? He must be picking up on it. He's going to start getting suspicious and hurt so in turn will use anger to dull the pain. None of these are good things if you want to work through it. He's your husband and it's obvious that you love him...maybe in him realising why you keep resisting his touch. He might back off slightly, you won't feel much pressure and just possibly might go looking for his touch. In telling him what's happening all he'll do is want to help you....and having your life partner on your th surest way of getting back on track...Best of are in my thoughts

Reply to Fairie
Posted by: lonely | 2007/05/24

There must be a reason why you feel this way...its best to talk to a therapist and get to the root of what makes you feel this way. Maybe you dont like the way hubby is making love to you... Do you find yourself attractive, do you feel horny/turned on sometimes or dont you have any sexual need at all... have you tried to self explore... maybe you should guide hubby as to what makes you feel turn on and guide him how to please you. Foreplay is a big part of love making and the most satisfying...maybe you should try and spice it up a bit...get a movie or something...

Reply to lonely
Posted by: Wife | 2007/05/24

Thanks Fairie - I am scared to talk to him about it, as he might fee rejected by it in any case. But still, it is a good suggestion and I think I must try it.

Damn - I hate this!

Reply to Wife
Posted by: Fairie | 2007/05/24


Some suggestions..
Try taking a course of multi-vitamins to keep healthy and your energy up. As well as possibly speaking to a sex therapist to find the root of why you love your husband but don't want him to touch you. Don't just leave it it will just get worse.

I'm holding thumbs you work it out.
PS: Make sure you are vocal with your husband and he knows what you going through. Don't leave him in the dark it will hurt him and damage your relationship. He might also be able to hep you relax and work through this easier

Reply to Fairie

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