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Question
Posted by: FEELING DOWN | 2005/12/09

CAN'T SEEM TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER

Boyfriend and I tried moving in together which has not really worked as we both have been on our own for a long time.

He did not really want to say anything and so I brought the subject up and he agreed that weekends were the right way to do things (but not in so many words), then 1/2 hour later changed his mind and said I am welcome anytime, and when can I stay over again.

I unfortunately have a tendancy to envelop people into my world, and takeover. I am trying really hard to give him his space and only stayed over on Wednesday night (on his invitation). I was due to go to his place last night (on invitation) but declined because I felt it was the right thing to do in view of our conversation.

It would seem that I have to take charge of this situation because I get the impression that yes he wants me, but no he does not (does that make sense!!!!!)

I am going to his place tonight, but I feel so weepy and teary and a house and space invader (I have moved back in with my folks). I don't want to lose our friendship and just walk out of this relationship completely, but at the same time I do not want him to feel sorry for me.

Mom says that I will chase him away if I keep on staying over ALL the time, best just to see each other on weekends that way he does not feel trapped and enveloped.

What do I do, because I know that most men are not into the teary weepy women thing and I do not want to be a burden on him or chase him away (I sound pathetic!!!!!)

I want to pull myself together and stop feeling this overwhelming sense of helplessness.

I love this man!!!!

Look forward to your replies.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why do I get the feling that somehow, at some level, you are inflating some fairly minor matters into a crisis ? I don't hear anything to be teary and weepy about --- he wants to have you around more, --- well, go ahead and explore, and discover what sort of arangement sorts both of you best

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mwa | 2005/12/09

I know communication works and I think you should just sit him down tonight and tell him whats bothering you. Be honest and cry if that's what you want but make sure you've said all that you want him to know....!!! Its better you talk to him and hear his side than to keep quiete and lose him....!!!

Good Luck ....

;-)

Reply to Mwa

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