Our expert says:
Grief requires hard work and takes longer than most people expect ( especially thse not affected by it ). Don't let yourself get trapped in forms of denial, like assuming that somehow you could miraculously bring her back, or feeling guilty for not having miraculously saved her. We may not know what it feels like to die at 18, but if she was a friend, it seems very likely that she would want you to remember what was happy and good about the relationship, and that she would indeed NOT want you to remember her with misery.
Nice response from RMC. And yes, do consider seeing a counsellor to work on this, for your own sake and as a tribute to your friend
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