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Question
Posted by: pru | 2008/05/29

can't forgive self

Dear shrink, what is wrong with me? I am approaching 60 and still, as all my life, I am unable to forgive myself for mistakes I make. My errors of judgement and wrong decicisions I regret forever and continue to chastise myself. Whe I am found to have done something wrong/unacceptable/illegal which I was unaware of i.e. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong- I honestly believed I was doing the right thing- it is even worse- whenever I think about it I just cry and cry. I don't feel sorry for myself . I just feel so bad.Intellectually I know I shouldn't be like this, but the tears just flow and leave me feeling so hopeless afterwards.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For some reason you seem to have reversed direction, and decided to live life backwards, moving into the future, while gazing exclusively in the rear-view mirror. Everybody makes mistakes in life --- only the guy who never did anything made no mistakes, and doing nothing was the worst mistake of all. One should examine a mistake, learn whatever useful lessons one can from it, and then move on. Continuing to chastise yourself and brood over them is a usefuless waste of time and energy, as you well know. And where you have acidentally done something wrong without realizing it, you are not to blame. And brooding solves nothing, and if anything increases the risk of further miskates.
It sounds as though you are probably significantly Depressed, and this sort of excessive brooding over negative aspects of the past is part of Depression. Fortunately, this condition usually responds very well to treatment, and with antidepressants, and in your case I would also strongly recommend CBT therapy / counselling, you can get rid of these bad habits of such negative thinking, and concentrate instead on making your remaining years positive and creative, avoiding the mistakes you already know about, and doing something good, instead

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: E.S. | 2008/05/30

Please, find yourself a good psychiatrist, with Christian values. If you are in the Western Cape, I can recommend one.

Reply to E.S.

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