Our expert says:
Counselling is what usall works best for working on's way through such a tangle of emotions. Memories of past relationships should be like a photo-album --- something you can take out occasionally, and look through with some nostalgia, remembering good times in the past.
They should not be chains that bind you to the past, so that you drive forwards but navigate exclusively by looking into the rear-view mirror.
As you say, cautions arising from that prior experience, instead of protecting you from further hurt, are protecting you from further love --- you've become so hesitant to trust in relationships, that you're making yourself a hermit, instead of enjoying new relationships that can bring the joy you deserve.
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