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Question
Posted by: Lanie | 2006/11/07

Can't cope anymore

I living with my boyfriend for more than a year now. I was engaged to him for 1 year but broke the engagement off. He is making my life very difficult and my childrens. I try my best to contribute to the household with my small salary, by buying food and exstra's. He says I'm living in a dream world and because I grew up with enough I don't realize whats going on. But I do!! I have a child at University and the other two is staying with me and him. My children and I are not allowed to use the air conditioning in the house because I don't contribute to the water & lights. Although he is getting R900.00 subsidy for electricity from the Company he works for. He also doesn't pay for the company house. I have two worshound who digges in the garden, after a huge fight I said that I will give them away he said that he will then shoot them. Someone must watch them in the day, so that they don't dig in the garden. I'm at work from 7 till 16h00 and the children at school. I can't expect the lady working in our house to wacth the dogs the whole time. What is my legal rights if I leave him now? Can I claim maintenance for me or housing? He ask me to move in with him.

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Our expert says:
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If he's getting a free company house and large electricity subsidy, then HE isn't paying for these things, either --- WE the customers of whatever silly company he works for, are paying for it, so he shouldn't think he's so superior ! As for legal rights, it'd be worth your while to consult a good local lawyer.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: just me | 2006/11/08

Hi there,

Do you know what is going on in his finances? Does he keep it secret from you? If so there might be a problem there.

Maybe it's just plain and simple that he is struggling to cope financially as things have gotten a heck of a lot more expensive iro interest rate and inflation. My car payment has increased with R500 and it's not even a luxury vehicle.

Is everything still okay at his work? is there any changes happening or retrenchements on the horizon.

And then ofcourse then final question, Are you still treating him the same way as you did in the begining? Those little hugs and touches, looks and winks that tend to fall away once a person gets settled in a relationship.

Is he not just feeling as if he is taken for granted?

We (women) often see ourselves as victims, however we need to just step back and see the bigger picture... men can't express their feelings well and this causes alot of unnessecary pain.

Hope everything will settle down and that your relationship will benefit both you and your sweetheart.

just me

Reply to just me
Posted by: lady nina | 2006/11/07

hi girl

i don't think have any legal rights after only a year

was he always like this?
if not he is probably having a fling on the side and is tired of you, thats why is is mowning about all these nonsence

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: lady nina | 2006/11/07

hi girl

i don't think have any legal rights after only a year

was he always like this?
if not he is probably having a fling on the side and is tired of you, thats why is is mowning about all these nonsence

nina

Reply to lady nina

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