Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/09


I just need to know if REAL LOVE only comes by once in your life? If been married and devorced but i did not love my hubby the way i loved my partner i met after i devorced him. me and my partner were together for 6 years and when we broke up my whole life fell apart and today 3 years later i still can't get over my partner or forgive why my partner left. i am in another relationship now but i do not love the same way, it's not that same feeling i had and i wonder will i ever feel like that again or am i doomed forever?

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Our expert says:
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There's no rationing of love. Some people unfortunately don't find it ; many make it, for themselves and others ; others find it several times. You're surely not doomed, but counselling may be needed to sort out these complicated feelings which may be sabotaging your atempts to find happiness

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Our users say:
Posted by: blowersdaughter | 2005/12/09

i fall in love every other day.
does that count.
agh.... love is great. be free. with it. with yourself.
don't put so much limitations on it.
now you know why i fall in love every other day.

Reply to blowersdaughter
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/09

Of course you will Love again!!! No doubt about it. But not now, not til you've disinvested your current love.

But the love will be different, and BETTER! Dont expect it to be the same, it wont be, cant be, and shouldn't be.

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Sad | 2005/12/09

I dont really have this real love you talk about. I have been in a relationship for 10 years and I never had the butterflies, its very sad , I wish I did, I regret it everyday of my life, so yes I have had to learn to love the one I am with, but I have alot of emotional problems with it, It feels I live a lie, but what can I do, I just hope that someday something will change.

Reply to Sad
Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/09

You see guys it's not like i do not love my current partner because i do but i don't feel the same feelling that i had with my ex partner. she was my everything and my whole life revolved around her but she left me foe my best friend and i could not deal with it and till today i think of her and how it should have been if we were still together and what we could have had. My current partner does not know this because it will hurt her so i do not want to talk about it with her. Will i get over my ex? that is my question. and how long still?

Reply to Tina
Posted by: Madlyinlove | 2005/12/09

I live with real love everyday, I feel it everyday of my life, the love of my life is the first face that I see in the morning and the last face that I see at night. He is constantly in my mind, when I am in the car, when I am swimming when I am eating, it has not stopped for three years, when I am with him I can stare for hours at him without him having to say a word: its been like this for three years, I love him from the first momment I saw him, I had loved twice before in my life and was hurt when they left, I never thought I would love again and today Ilove this guy more than I have ever loved anyone : It can be done. I would give everything up in my life for him.

Reply to Madlyinlove
Posted by: Peter Pan | 2005/12/09

Hey Dude

cmon dude, how can you say we should learn to live with our situation; why be so defeatist, everyone that lives with his situation ends up breaking up anyway. yes we are human and love is for us also... there are so many people out there that know what real love is....and those that want it had it at some stage in their lives; you can only understand real love if you have experienced it once in your life.

Reply to Peter Pan
Posted by: Dude | 2005/12/09

wud say u shud learn to live with ur situation... DOOMED sounds like a reality uz got 2 get used 2... love is for dolphins anyway... humans r way 2 irresponsible 2 have it and keep it

Reply to Dude
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/09

There is more than one love in lifetime... i've only been around for 26 years and have loved deeply (in a relationship sense), twice already..........
I think in your situation now your feelings of love have nothing to do with who your current partner is.... but more to do that you haven't moved past the last hurt..... you still haven't gotten over the fact that he left.... you were deeply hurt... it's hard to give yourself over to being hurt again... and so often we don't allow ourselves to love to our fullest capacity... and then of course things don't feel the same....
You should go for some therapy to help with this... you and your current b/f deserve more out of life.......
Your current b/f might just be the one who will be around forever... who will love you always... and when you are able to stop being afraid of getting hurt.... you might be able to reciprocate the love..........
Also remember....that whilst you don't allow yourself to love... you're actually setting up the relationship to fail............
there is love to be felt... either with this current partner... or with someone else... but before you go searching externally.... get some deserved help.................

Reply to ...
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/09

Yes, but if you cannot love the one u're with - it is unfair to string him along and then dump him. You have to be honest with him and let him decide if he wants to take a chance

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Peter Pan | 2005/12/09

hi Tina

Someone said to be on the forum this week, If I cannot be with the one I love, Love the one I am with. Let me tell you It DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. Please dont fall into a comfortzone relationship because you afraid of pursuing the man you really love. real Love can exist more than once you just need the courage to find it. Do not allow society to pressurize into a relationship thats not like heaven. Real love is about looking at your partners face while he sleeps for hours and that giving you so much joy that it brings tears to your eyes: thats the love that we all deserve and should fight for Tina, dont give up! make it your dream.

Reply to Peter Pan
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/09

I cannot say and have asked the question if one can love the same person again. Can you really love your partner? I was told by a number of people, including a shrink, it is yes - provided it comes from both - because love is not an emotion - we have to work at it. We sometimes think (so I was told) that the first love and the feelings going with that is the real thing - you know the butterflies lightheaded love.

With me it is bittersweet, because i think i do but don't know.

What are the feelings of your partner because there is also the responsibility on him to work at it to give you that butterfly feeling. Not to sit back and not to show u.

Reply to Jakes

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