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Question
Posted by: Daffy | 2007/04/12

CAN HUBBY BE CHEATING???????

I HAVE KNOWN MY HUBBY FOR 6 YEARS MARRIED FOR 3.TS MY SECOND MARRIAGE AND HIS FIRST.IM OLDER THAN HIM.WHEN WE STARTED THIS RELATIONSHIP ALOT WAS DISCUSSED ABOUT THE AGE GAP.KIDS(I HAVE 2 OF MY OWN)MY ACCEPTANCE INTO HIS FAMILY AS WE BOTH FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIOUS BACKGROUNDS AND HE ASSURED ME THAT THERE WILL BE NO COMPLICATIONS.IN THE LAST 6/8 MONTHS I HAVE NOTICED A BIG CHANGE HIM.HE CHANGES HIS PASSWORDS ON THE PC.NEVER ANSWERS CALLS ON THE CELLPHONE WHEN AT HOME.CALLS WOMEN FRIENDS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE( I CHECKED HIS PHONE) TELLS ME HES GOING TO SOME PLACE AND WHEN HE RETURNS HE TELLS ME THAT HE WENT ELSEWHERE.WHEN I QUESTION HIM ABOUT HIS MOVEMENTS HE ALWAYS HAS AN EXCUSE WHICH I KNOW IS A LIE.HE NEVER BRINGS HIS BANK STATEMENTS HOME.ALTHOUGH HE EARNS WELL I CANNOT ACCOUNT FOR THE MONEY HE ALWAYS SAYS HE HAS USED IT FOR THIS OR THAT.OUR SEX LIFE IS PATHETIC .I HAVE CAUGHT HIM MANY A TIMES ON HIS LIES YET HE DEFENDS HIMSELF BY LYING OVER THE LIE.I CANNOT BE IN THIS MARRIAGE IF THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOUR IS GOING TO CONTINUE.I CANNOT TRUST HIM.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Any husband, and any wife, for that matter, COULD be cheating. SO the question is whether in any given situation it is likely. The behaviour you describe is suspicious indeed. Only effective communication between you two could possibly sort this out, and that would include marriage counselling. As Rose implies, if he's not cheating, then there is still something wrong, and needing to be soerted out between you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: RONA | 2007/04/14

DAFFY I HAVE COME ACROSS A FEW MEN WHO BEHAVE IN THIS WAY.THEY APPEAR TO BE VERY PRIVATE AND DONT WANT TO SHARE THEIR THOUGHTS WITH THEIR PARTNERS.IF THERE IS NO CONCRETE EVIDENCE (PERFUME LIPSTICK ETC ETC)
WHEN HE COMES HOME THEN THERE IS NO REASON TO WORRY.IF HE SPENDS HIS WEEKENDS AT HOME THEN HES NOT CHEATING.ALSO IF HE IS AT HOME EVERYNITE THEN I SUGGEST YOU MUST GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE FACT THAT HE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH .FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON SOME GUYS WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING ALONE FOR A LONG TIME TEND TO PREFER TO LIVE THE SAME WAY INSPITE OF HAVE A PARTNER THEY JUST DONT OPEN UP .THEY FEEL HAPPY AND CONTENT TO KEEP ALL THEIR FEELINGS INSIDE.THEREFORE IT WOULD BE NICE TO KEEP TO YOUR EYES OPEN WITHOUT ACCUSING HIM OF CHEATING.IN THIS WAY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PICK UP THE SIGNS GOOD LUCK.

Reply to RONA
Posted by: sammy | 2007/04/13

sounds like he is cheating to me. confront him and say you found out and see what he does / says. Say you dont want any more lies and you know, you just want him to come clean and tell you for how long its been going on.

if he is truly not cheating you will be able to tell

Reply to sammy
Posted by: SHERLOCK | 2007/04/13

DAFFY,
IM A MAN AND HE IS UP TO SOMETHING.CONFRONT HIM AND GET IT OUT IN HTE OPEN,MAYBE AS ROSE SAYS ITS SOMETHING ELSE,BUT IT SURE AINT NORMAL BEHAVOIUR.

Reply to SHERLOCK
Posted by: Annelize | 2007/04/13

You will never be able to put your finger on it unless you catch him. Please don't go around following him otherwise you might look like you are crazy. Get a private investigator to check on him or just be patient and wait. If he is cheating he is going to be caught out some or other time.

Reply to Annelize
Posted by: tantric | 2007/04/13

ever thought that it might not be cheating but some addiction it sounds abit like gambling to me, i just those signs are more often for a person who has an addiction problem than cheating when you are cheating you tend to make up for your screw ups by being loving once in a while but he seems to be engrossed in this problem

Reply to tantric
Posted by: rose | 2007/04/12

hi daffy

im no one to just say "yes he's cheating", but this doesn't sound good, even if he's not cheating..

you need to find a way to get through to him or for him to be honest.

ask him bluntly the things you want. put him on the spot.

no need to make phone calls to other women he doesn't wanna talk about,yea?

lets see what CS has to say.

i would suggest couple counselling of this is a relationship worth saving. you have to be able to trust your partner, if there is no trust it will NEVER be healthy and youll go mad wondering and wondering even if he doesnt do anything behind your back.

all of the best.

Reply to rose

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