Posted by: EE | 2008/11/21

Can a daughter do this!!

11 years ago my daughter came to live with my b/f and I, she was 15 then,she befriended two teenage sisters, one looked like a butch, I went to work everday and got home at 19h00 and would find these girls lounging around until past midnite, on fridays my b/f came home at 13h00 entertained them then they all left for a club.
One saturday my daughter came home at 03h00 my b/f had came home before her, they had had a fight at the club and he didn' t want her in his flat, when told, she started raising her voice, told me to ask him about him and butch.
Why hadn' t she told me a long ago.I left that b/f there after.
I now am in a new relationship, daughter is saved reason I offered for her to come and live until she found a job then move out once she has a deposit for her own place that was 3 mths ago, she has all these excuse' s no money but bought a cell, gym contract etc.
Knowing my b/f has a drinking problem, lots of money and very loose with money where woman are concerned of which my daughter has seen, his pulled her around to dance with him and kiss' s her in this mood.I am not speaking to my b/f at the moment because of this behaviour.
I told her that if he my b/f doesn' t pull up his socks I am out of there.

She is so cunning, suddenly her friend frm durban is on her way up for a job nearby and asked if she can stay with us. I refused.
What is she trying here, getting this girl of whom she says is also saved to entice my b/f for money/. This friend is a known whore and has aids.I know for a fact that my daughter hates me but being a mom I keep trying to help her.
She seems to always want all that I have, I think this way she gets to stay on and enjoy and couldn' t bother at what expence.
Am I just imagioning or is she plotting my partner here.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

jobs must come before gym contracts or cells. If your bf is pawing your daughter --- she's old enough now to decide for herself, but if she doeszn't like it, she shouldn't go out with him. Sounds like she has and makes dubious friends. While she lives in your home at your expense, she should attend to your concerns.
I don't understand why you would want to stay with a loser like this bf --- move on with your own life. If your daughter chooses the loser, more fool her. Right now, maybe she plays him because she knows it'll upset you

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jcat | 2008/11/24

U dont have children do u? hom are u to judge. yes i do agree that your children comes first. but it does not mean that EE' s life should stand still because her daughter at the age of 30 is to childish to look after herself. if she wants to hang around in clubs or if she could make 2 children then she sould look after herself. im also a mother of 2 (small children still) and have a brother of 26 that is also never minded and i see my mom stress all the time because of this. and its wrong. ill say give her some tought love. let her stand on her own to feet. if she can go clubbing she can take care of herself.

Reply to Jcat
Posted by: jcat | 2008/11/21

sounds like she has turned out just like her mother.... couldn' t care less about her children and worries far more about her loser boyfriends.
what you sow shall you reap...

Reply to jcat
Posted by: EE | 2008/11/21

A Daughter. you don' t seem to understand, my daughter is in her 30s irresponsible, has two children of which she' s never had to bring up.
Being a caring mother although she swears at me and pinches, never cleans, she has never really held a job as clubbing always came first.
Her father is late, she was getting married twice and turned the offers down.
She is not my responsibilty, she is a grown woman and does what she wants and always did.She is also verey stubborn. I brought her up here to get a good job and take care of her kids.
Am I still at fault here, since a teen she has given me up hill.

Reply to EE
Posted by: A Daughter | 2008/11/21

It sounds like you have a lot of resentment towards your daughter. You say your bf has a drinking problem yet you aim your annimosity towards your daughter. You say she moved in 11 years ago. Where was she living before and where is her father? It sounds like she has had to grow up without both her parents so maybe she is trying to get what she didn' t get in her childhood. Ever thought of putting the same effort you put into your relationship with your boyfriend into the relationship with your daughter. She is your flesh and blood and your responsibility after all.

Reply to A Daughter

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