Our expert says:
You are right about the message she needs to receive. Bulimia is a serious and dangerous problem which MUST get proper professional help. She will not cure this on her own, and there's nothing useful you can do except to persuade her to see a properly experienced psychiatrist for a full assessment and treatment. People with eating disorders are often dishonest with their loved ones, and cheat, lie, and hide the truth from them. She needs to tell her parents, too. If she could cure it on her own, surely she would have done so long ago. She needs to remember that people can still die from this condition, and that it can severely reduce their fertility.
You may need to read up on Tough Love, and consider refusing to see her until she has seen a psychiatrist and entered proper and serious therapy --- say that you can't bear seing her continue to damage herself, and to be so dishonest with her parents, you AND HERSELF. That wouldn't be giving up on her. It is she who has given up and can't be bothered to try. What nonsense to "give it a month" --- how many months has she had in which she never did give it up ?
Unfortunately, treatment will need her voluntary co-operation. But if you reward her by continuing affections while she insists on damaging herself, tou would be collaborating rather than helping her to get better. Continue to cae, but remember you can't solve this, and it isn't your responsibility, but hers. I understand the depth of your concern, but "I have to stay and make sure she gets better and STOPS completely! " is NOT an approach that will get her better. Until she genuinely wants to, no amount of wanting on your part can substitute for that. ANd maybe she only says she wants only you to help her, beause she knows that you can't do so.
And don'\t get trapped into speculation of things that may have happened in her childhood --- most often there is NOTHING that happened, and if something did, dealing with it is NOT the central secret towards her getting better. She needs to change her behaviour first, and her feelings and attitudes can catch up later.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.