Posted by: lerato | 2004/11/12

bulid house near inlaws

Hallo great people.

please advise me if it's good to have your own house near your mother and father inlaw, is it good or bad please advise me .

the reason i say this is beacaue i'm married to a very loving good caring hubby, and her parents and sisters love me as their own hubby is the only first one son at home and he wants us to bulid a house near his parents beacause all his father's heritage is his when his father dies,

my mother inaw is very good to me and she always wants to caht with me and sit with me in the kitchen when i'm busy.unless this is really going to change, but from my point of view i don't think things might change, and they are all christians. all the sisters of my hubby are married then it will be us and his parents only and they have a big big house. ofr should we stay with them and not bulid or own house or must we build our house then stay near them. please help only those who have this experience or has been in this situation and Doc please help me too.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

lerato, doesn't it depend on who the mother and father in law ARE, and what sort of telationship you have with them ? From what you say, they sound friendly and fond of both of you, so it could go better than most marriages where the realtionship with the inlaws can be rather strained. Maybe compromise --- your own place ( too many strains tend to emerge when you actually live with the inlaws, unless there's no alternative to this ), but not TOO near to them, so it still needs you to actually drive to each other. You probably need to start your own family and lifestyle.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ????? | 2004/11/12

very very very very bad idea. I lived with my in-laws once and it can spoil the relationship between you and them forever. I now have a house and it is to close to my brother in-law whom i hate with a possion... i wish like moving a billion miles away from them. It all started when we moved in with my in-laws .... bad bad nad move

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Posted by: Orie | 2004/11/12

I'd say " bad idea" . You are now a family on your own and you need to start living as a family without mom, sisters of whoever interfering ( whether in a good or bad way) You need your privacy and you need to be independent. I would not suggest that , things may change in the near future and this close proximity but be a frustration for both of you. Are you going to build a house next to your in-laws just for in case his dad dies. Who said he cannot manage his inherited stuff even if he lives 100 km away . Just be careful , bcoz a person is a Christiona does not mean that s/he cannot be mean and devious. They are human beings and can change. And remember the more you stay together the more you're going to see each other's weaknesses . Once your weaknesses are exposed you'll be more prone to conflict with your inlaws.

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