Posted by: Shit Boyfriend to my Girlfriend | 2007/04/23

Build her up n' Break her down!!! Why???

Me and my girlfriend who I absolutly am crazy in love with and she with me have a slight problem. I have a terrible habit of making her feel great about herself and then using the mistakes that everyone does make against her to hurt her! I constantly build her up and break her down. I dont even realise that I am doing it. What is my issue, how do I resolve this... Its going to end up killing our relationship????

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Our expert says:
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That truly is a really lousy way to behave to anyone, let alone someone you claim to love. See a good local counsellor / therapist to work on this, as it will hurt her, and all your chances of any lasting relationship. BIG problem, and the why is less important than working with a CBT counsellor to change the bad habit

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Our users say:
Posted by: tm | 2007/04/24

well done on acknowledging the problem and for seeking advice, and good luck with seeking someone to help you.

Reply to tm
Posted by: Minki | 2007/04/24

I guess you don't really realise the damage that you are doing to her self-esteem - making her feel great one minute and like shit the next! Do you like hurting her - does it turn you on - does it make you feel manly? When will you stop - when she has gotten to the point where she cannot look at herself in a mirror without thinking how hideous she is? YOU have a major problem and should seek help for it - you are abusing her - mentally and emotionally! This is hardly what I would refer to as a slight problem - you have no idea how long it takes to repair the damage - you have no idea how it feels to look in the mirror and think "I am useless" because it has been drummed into your mind - you are a bully and you need to get some serious help. If I were her I would've told you to p*ss off a long time ago. I was in an abusive, yes abusive, relationship like this for 18 months, from a good-looking, healthy 58kg woman, I went down to a 43kg skeleton with a major self-esteem problem because I was constantly belitted by my so-called boyfriend - he was nothing short of a headcase!!! Today when I think of the abuse I went through, I realise that I was not the problem he was, and I hope your gf realises it too before you break her down totally. You should be ashamed of yourself - if you really love her so much - why do you "build her up and break her down" - is it some kind of sick achievement to you? Today I am the one in a happy marriage with a child - what has he got? Been engaged four times since we split up, still living in the same house with his mommy and sister!! Shame, he just got what was coming to him and don't forget it will all come back to you too!!

Reply to Minki
Posted by: RMC | 2007/04/23


Why do you feel the need to belittle her like this?

Reply to RMC
Posted by: Annie | 2007/04/23

I would say it is a BIG problem , not slight

Reply to Annie

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