Posted by: CAT | 2009/08/13

Brother dearest

Hi CD me again..
When I see what my brother goes through I am grateful I am not blood related to him.. Bipolar.. and worst thing is he abuse drugs (cocaine and what else not sure) Oh and he is 39 stays by my mother.. she is a prisoner in her own home.. what bothers me is the fact that he hears voices and talk to himself, he is a bit out of control cant remember after he had an “ episode”  or “ clear mind after the drugs”  I am worried about my mother safety with him around .. he has a short temper and when he gets his moods oh boy you dont want to be close to him.. can a person be admitted without his consent in an institution or does it have to go to court to get him declared unfit? My mother is a place of safety for his son now 10 he refuse to move out on his own (I think my mother might be scared of him although she does not say anything) even if he could he will lose his job and have to move back home again.. up and down the whole time.. my mother has made up her mind as she can see the negative effect of him around his own son.. school marks going down he is a bit depressed as he adores his father (when he is “ normal”  at times) ..and this setup is not healthy for him anymore seeing his father like this.. My mother wants to send him to Weskoppies I think Sterkfontein is better. what is your take on this? She is working now with the Social services to avoid them taking the son away maybe.. better open that keeping it from them I think ..she would be devastated if they decide this is not a healthy place for him anymor.. so she wants him out and away asap

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As many of our regular readers can testify, dealing with personal bipolar disorder is often very difficult. But needlessly complicating it and subverting effective treatment by voluntarily adding drug abuse to the mix, is most unfoertunate.
And then when he mentions hearing voices, etc., it is very difficult to know whether he might have an independent psychotic disorder as well as everything else, whether this is related to his bipolar disorder, or to the drug abuse. Onl a very skilled shrink MIGHT be able to distinguish between these potential causes, and the distinction is important in order to plan proper treatment.
This should be discussed with whatever shrink has been treating him, because if he is a risk to himself and / or to others, there is a possibility that he could be compulsorily admitted to a hospital such as a state hospital, for proper assessment and tratment compulsorily at first, if necessary.
Much depends on him seeing the right shrink, and there ae better and worse ones at any hospital so I can't advise on a choice between Weskoppies and Sterkfontein.
And the best interests of the child need to be considered as primary. He can have access to his dad when his dad is well.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Cat | 2009/08/14

Tx Kay.. Yes my mother tried most of the avenues you could think off ..the only time things went well was when he worked overseas.. something he really enjoyed.. he started taking drugs at around 10 years ago major setback on something he went through.. I agree my brother needs to grow up but his brains is full of holes because of the drugs .. he is too far down the damage in the brain has been done.. that’ s the sad part of this whole thing.. manipulative expert you right on than one too.. and his my mother son ( I think this is what makes it soo difficult for her its her own child) I take my hat off for my mother she is the best mom you could think off ..and I hate what this does to her..but she is strong and she does not take nonsense I think this time she made up her mind for good on him.." You dont want to try then I make that choice for you" 

I think she realizes that he had " his life"  its time his son get a good life without him around to mess it up for the little one.

My heart goes out for all that have Bipolar and their families. Its a living hell .. for the patient and the family.. Please those that does have it .. dont mess around with substances you will just make it worst... Good luck

Reply to Cat
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2009/08/13

CS is so right and I get sad when I hear such stories as they give all of us bipolars a bad name. We cannot help having bipolar disorder but there is a big difference between bipolar and just plain bad behaviour. At 39 he needs to grow up and look after his illness and make some adult choices. Drug addiction is a choice, not taking care of your own bipolar illness (and there is a LOT one can do) is a choice and being manipulative is a choice.

Have you ever thought of suggesting a Tough Love approach? Your poor mother needs protection as does his son. AS CS says, maybe he needs to be lead to water and FORCED to drink for a while. The drugs are clouding the whole picture and until he has gone through a drug detox, it' s hard to begin working on his treatment plan.

Best of luck  I feel for you...

Reply to Kay in Gtown

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