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Posted by: Bella | 2010/12/15

Broody and depressed

I don''t know what''s wrong with me! I am so broody and it is making me feel so depressed. All around me all I see are pregnant women or women with small babies and I feel this emptiness like something has been cut out of me. I have been married to the most wonderful man for the last 6 months and we dated for 2 1/2 years before that. He has 2 children from his previous marriage and is an amazing hands on father. I love my step kids dearly, but at the same time I am aware that I am not, and can never take the place of their mother, nor would I want to. As much as I love them, there is always going to be someone they love more. I desperately want a child of my own but my husband and I talked about being married for at least a year before starting to try. Logically and rationally it makes sense... solidify our relationship first, sort out finances etc. Irrationally, this broodiness is consuming me, I actually find myself staring at pregnant women. How do I control this for the next year?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Fortunately, love isn't competitive, and folks can love several people really deeply - it's nmot a question of them , loving their bio-mom so much that there must be less love available for you. I love several flavours of ice cream, and my relationship with Chocolate doesn't make me love lemon sorbet any the less.
While the delay of "solidify our relationship first" makes some sense - adding the length of your relationship, rather than only your marriage, that's three years - how long does it take to solidify ? When you mention "the next year", does this imply you have devided, together, to aim to start a pregnancy next year ? If so, that's not so far away, especially if you plan towards it, together, maybe gradually assembling some of the clothes, nappies,whatever paraphenalia the baby will need, it might make the planning feel more real ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/15

Fortunately, love isn't competitive, and folks can love several people really deeply - it's nmot a question of them , loving their bio-mom so much that there must be less love available for you. I love several flavours of ice cream, and my relationship with Chocolate doesn't make me love lemon sorbet any the less.
While the delay of "solidify our relationship first" makes some sense - adding the length of your relationship, rather than only your marriage, that's three years - how long does it take to solidify ? When you mention "the next year", does this imply you have devided, together, to aim to start a pregnancy next year ? If so, that's not so far away, especially if you plan towards it, together, maybe gradually assembling some of the clothes, nappies,whatever paraphenalia the baby will need, it might make the planning feel more real ?

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