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Posted by: torn | 2004/10/12

broken hearted

Today i am broken hearted. I have been in a rollercoaster relationship for the past 10 months hoping things would get better.
Ive been seeing a girl who is 6 years younger than me. I saw things in her which i havent seen in any other woman before. Unfortunately, the relationship is taking a turn for the worst and she has become this hard, and very abrupt person. I dont get the stability i want from her, even though i would give anything to make this work. Ive spoken to her on many occasions but nothing.
Now comes the time when ive tried everything. I am hurting really bad but what can i do. I love her, I thought that was all that was needed but i was mistaken. Im going to have to leave this relationship............Its killing me inside. What can i do.............

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello Torn,
Good love from ONE person isn't enough to make a relationship succeed. A counsellor might help you adjus to this more rapidly and productively.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/10/13

hi there

you are a very wise man to realize when it's time to quit ...
believe me some of us try and try and try for years before accepting defeat

time is the only thing that will make it better .... pls don't think of getting in to a nother relasionship before you recoved from this one!

they say it take one year for every 4 years together in a commited relasionship to recover and thats good news for you since you could be ok within a couple of months
but you have to make a choice to move on, both with your heart and your head

be patient with yourself and take care of you

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Me | 2004/10/12

Unfortunately u just have to let it go, whats the use of being in a relationship that doesn't make u happy. Remember Happiness its what matters most , My dear brother they are far too many beautiful, womeb out there who wants the stability that u are looking , if i were u, i will get out before its too late.

But have one more serious conversation with her about your relationship and then u will make your final decision. U love her and thats what i repect u for instead of doing things behind one 's back of whcih lots of men are proud to do that these days.

All the best adn i hope things will work out.
We love u, please be kind to yourself.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Shelly | 2004/10/12

Hi Torn,

There are no words to consol when in a situation like this. Nothing can make it seem better.

What I can share with you and leave you with is this. People come into our lives for specific reasons. Some of which we will never know. It is very special to be capable and able to love someone with all your heart.

If you can think back, when did she start to change? What were the circumstances that occured when she started to change?

You've also said that you have been in a rollercoaster relationship for 10 months. Hoping things will get better. Torn, quite frankly, after 10 months, and nothing has improved, you have to perhaps see that they wont change. And dont think that if you change or do it differently, things will change. Relationships are built on various things and one of the important one is compromise. its a give/take situation and you cant make all the effort if she isnt going to because then you end up being walked all over and feeling less of a person at the end.

You need to be happy within yourself and you need look out for yourself. It might be hard to end the relationship, we all make mistakes, but as long as you learn from you mistakes the lesson wont be lost. Dont make a rash decision, perhaps try talking to her. Another thing to remember is that people dont change because of other people. Changing is a "concious" sub concious decision. Perhaps ask her why she has changed. Talking about things is always a good way to start.

Time wont make the hurt go away, but it will make it easier to live with.

Take care Torn and keep us posted.

Reply to Shelly
Posted by: PARIS | 2004/10/12

You gave it your every thing. I know from my past relationship, that some times love is not enough. Some times two people are just so different that not even love can keep them together. If you stay in this relationship she will end up hating you. As i did to my ex. I cannot say for sure if your relationship is the same as my past. all i can say is it gets better with time.

Now im in a beautiful relationship, it just took time and the right man to come along.

Keep your head up mate.

Reply to PARIS

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