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Question
Posted by: Ntha | 2007/02/20

Break up

Hi Doc
I am feeling so relieved that I broke up with a guy whom I went out with for 9 half years.He was a cheat and on top of that he paid lobola for some woman and lie to me about that.Its been two weeks since I have spoken him.I am so so relieved, I am not missnig him,its like I living my life all over again.The problem is doc,I have a child with him.Evry month I have to chase him for maintanance money.Should I lieave him alone cos I dont want to communicate with him anymore,what should i DO?

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Our expert says:
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Congratulations --- how much better off you are, without him ! DIscuss with the Maintenance Court at the Magistrate's Court the issue of maintenance, as he has no right to withhold maintenance from the child, whatever he may feel about you, and the court can compel him to pay or go to jail, and can I think get his employer to deduct the maintenance before he receives the rest of his earnings, You shouldn't have to communicate with him directly every mont --- he may be deliberately withholding the maintenance just to try to force you to speak with him. The court can see to that.

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Our users say:
Posted by: thandz | 2007/02/20

i too have broken up, but i have no baby drama i just let go of a parasite who thought my car and i were his chauffer and atm till i said HELL NO get your own shit together i dont need ish from you except the good lay you gave. so i left him and sad thing is i miscarried a month ago and all he could say was it was some blessing because now he and i can continue with our dreams thats wheni started seeing him for what he was but grateful that i left his a#$ and move on. so maintenance is something i know nothing bou, but t my mom raised three daughters on her own without demanding a cent now she is a director lots of cars and houses and my dad got a low level job because of her so trust me leave him love your child live for hyour child forget him and blessings will fall and so will he.

Reply to thandz
Posted by: noni | 2007/02/20

Same boat kinda-
She MUST NOT Leave the maintenance issue - I have a baby with my ex- and i took him to maintanance court. For three months i put aside all the slips i could for my baby - even when buying something worth R2.00 put all the slips in a safe place. Group them together each month. When you go to maintenance you will know xaclty how much you want from him. My baby is 1 year and couple of days - R800 per month, it is being deducted straight from his salary. I tell you i am tired of men running away from their responsibilities. Never ever feel for him what he is gonna go through - he will try and be nice and understanding with but that is their way of making you thinking twice aout going to court. This is not about you and your pride - It is about the child. And you Go Girl for letting go of hi.

Reply to noni
Posted by: Same boat....kinda | 2007/02/20

Aowa, re a go lebogisa for takin that bold step, good for u. It's his loss. Even though u dont wanna have contact with him, thing is, it's his responsibilty as a father to take care of his child, but still if u feel ur child can actually DO without his maintanance, then leave him alone, otherwise just go to ur nearest maintance court.
im in that kind of a situation myself and i'll be breakin up with him very soon mara nna i am the "other woman", only found out after 2 yrs into the relationship that he was seein someone for the past five,but i dont have a child by him.

Good luck.

Reply to Same boat....kinda

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