Posted by: PARIS | 2004/10/14


Toys or boys?

Oct 14 2004 07:47:35:187AM

Dr Eve

Dr Eve asks whether women want vibrators or men, and delves into two revealing studies on women's sexuality.

Over the past two weeks, two revealing new studies on women's sexuality have been published.

The first comes out of the Berman Centre in Chicago, where 2 000 women aged 18-55 across America were questioned about their vibrator use.

Results showed that nearly half of these women have used a vibrator, of which 55% were in relationships and 34% were single.

Of those in relationships, nearly half said they used the vibrator with their partner, in addition to using it by themselves.

The message seems clear: women just love plastic.

I wondered why - the women in this survey say they have an easier time reaching orgasm with a vibrator, are more interested in sexual activity and most importantly, are generally more sexually satisfied.

Which leads me to the second research study. Sponsored by Pfizer (which manufactures Viagra) 27 000 urban people in 29 countries were interviewed to assess their attitudes towards sexual health.

Results showed what we already know: sexual problems are extremely common.

The recommended solution for sexual woes according to the Pfizer-employed medical doctors, is teaching men to be more loving towards women.

It's not about men learning new sexual techniques, they say, but rather about enhancing their ability to be more intimate with women.

I guess now that Pfizer has given men the hard erections they believed was all that was required for satisfying sexual play, they can take a stand (so to speak!) and discount technique.

The implication is clear: women need love and intimacy to reduce their sexual difficulties - such as low sexual desire, difficulty in arousal and lack of orgasm.

Toys or boys?

Both pieces of research reflect a truth about women - we need the intimacy PLUS a partner with great technique to give us our due sexual satisfaction.

And if he's not available, informed or willing to go the distance, plastic will do it every time.

The problem is that these two facts have been kept separate and unspeakable for far too long.

Female sexuality has been layered with the prerequisites of romance, love and commitment - minimising her need for personal sexual satisfaction.

As he falls into that post-orgasmic sleep, and your heart is filled with intimacy and love but the throbbing in your genitals keeps you awake, get onto my website and order your own toys.

And more importantly, show the boy how to use the toy!

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Our expert says:
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Maybe the key issue with a vibrator is that the woman feels more in control of the whole process, giving herself exactly what she wants, when and where she wants it. Those who use them with their partners, surely have a much better chance of teaching any capable man to be similarly attentive ? Mind you, in my time I've come across men and women compared to whom, plastic could be far more warm and friendly ! And isn't the central issue still one of communication ? How effectively does the woman communicate to the man what she wants ? How effectively does he hear and respond to what she says ? And vice versa.
And paris also raises the significant point about the added pleasure that comes from sharing with someone you care about, rather than engaging in solitary pleasures ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: PARIS | 2004/10/14

Hey Joe,

Thanks. Your wife is a lucky woman (as am i).

Perhaps we could make some sort of contact some time.

You take care too.


Reply to PARIS
Posted by: Joe | 2004/10/14

Hey Paris, yes thank you for answering the questions. You certainly are very thorough.

I have been on the forum for quite some time and it is clear by some of the postings that some men -not all - just go for the big bang. There is no emotions. It is particularly clear from the postings of the women who complain that they are not being satisfied by their partners.

I have been married for a long time and I still pay a lot of attention to foreplay and satisfying my wife. In fact foreplay takes up most of the time. The actual intercourse is not nearly as long as the initial satisfying, cuddling, teasing with or without the plastic friend, touching etc etc.

So thanks for your honesty. I have been quite impressed by some of your postings on this site.

Maybe we can make contact some time.

Take care

Reply to Joe
Posted by: PARIS | 2004/10/14

Hey there Joe,

I posted that article, because i have read many postings in the past where woman complain about sexual satisfaction. But here is my take.

I have a boyfriend, and i have a plastic friend. I purchased the plastic friend so my boy friend and i could experiment together. I have never used it alone. It is our toy, and some times it's a great spice for the bedroom.

I have never played alone. Actually i purchased this when my b/f was on a long business trip overseas, and i really felt like satisfaction (i was a first time buyer) but i couldn't bring myself to use it without him being present or enjoying it with me.

I do agree with the article though. There are too many men out there who dont show emotion when making love with their partner. I have seen many postings, as i said previously. Men need to know that is just not a case of ''in's and out's'' to satisfy a woman. Its the way he touches her, the way he kisses her.... If a man knows how to show emotion during foreplay and love making, it makes it a greater experience for the woman.

I am primarily speaking about relationships here. Not about one night stands or friends with benefits.

And ofcourse Joe, i am speaking of personal experience, i cannot speak for the rest of the female's out there.

Did i answer your question?


Reply to PARIS
Posted by: Joe | 2004/10/14

Well Paris, now that you have posted the article, what's your take on it? In an earlier posting you said that you have a boyfriend whom you love dearly. Nice.

What's your opinion on the article?

Do you have toys?

If so, does your bf know about these toys?

IF so, do you paly together?

Do you ever play alone?

What do the other women have to say on this topic?

Reply to Joe

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