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Question
Posted by: ? | 2006/11/10

Boyfriends Behaviour

My bf and I met about 2 years ago, when we met I was 20kg overweight he pursued me but i wasnt interested. I concentrated on losing weight and lost the 20kg in 6 weeks. We started seeing each other in the gym and not long after we met I fell pregnant. He was never a person that shows affection in public and wouldnt even kiss me hello, the only thing that he might do for a short time was hold my hand and then he would leave it. If we walked in a mall together you would think that we are friends instead of a relationship. But when we are alone is was always affectionate. During my pregnancy I didnt gain a lot of weight and still continued training and he was still the same person. Our daughter is now 5 months old and I can safely say that I have lost all the weight and some more. I'm not self-centered but I know that I look good because I worked hard to get here, although I wouldnt say it to anyone. For the last month or so my bf has become very strange, whenever we are in company he would grab me and just suddenly kiss me, and he would make sure that the people know that I'm his gf. We have a rule in the gym and its that we can go there together and leave together but we are there for a reason and we dont really talk during the time that we training. Yesterday he arrived at the gym 5 minutes before me, we saw each other said hello and went about our training. About 3 times during that time he kept coming to talk to me, and he would do things like play with my hair, or have his hand on my lower back, or even hold my hand while talking. This is very strange. He is a playful person and normally does things when we are alone, but now he is doing it in public. I dont have a problem with it, but can it be that he is threatened by other people.

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Our expert says:
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Have you two actually been having a "relationship" at an emotional, rather than a physical, level ? It sounds very superficial, and concerned more with appearances and sex than with emotions. And as for his gym behaviour, it sounds as though he is more concerned with how things appear to others, with you as a sort of fashion accessory, than with actually relating to you

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Our users say:
Posted by: Momof3 | 2006/11/10

Hi ? I just want to say my husband and I were also like you guys in the begining .But we were married and he would not kiss me in public or hold hands buat as time went by he became more and more affectionate towards me.I think the to of you sound like we were and as sideways says he has realised just How much he Loves you and wants to spend every second with you even at the gym.We have been married for 26yrs already now(does not seem that long and have 3 kids and we are still very afectionate with one another and we dont mind now who see us kiss and hug and if hubby wants to be close to me vene better.We dont hand onto one another we just love one another very much.I think he is deeply inlove with you and you have had his baby.
So why not get married now.He wants to show the world that you are HIS woman that is why he wants to touch you all the time.Good Luck and be HAPPY.(unless you have other feelings)

Reply to Momof3
Posted by: sideways | 2006/11/10

Perhaps what you want to hear is that it's because you are now so hot that he is concerned. Perhaps he is, perhaps he is also more in love with you than ever now that you have a child together. Who knows? You need to talk to him about it but be gentle, don't make him feel like you disapprove.

Reply to sideways
Posted by: T | 2006/11/10

Im sure u just wondering why the change..maybe u having this baby has really opened his eyes and he sees what a wonderful person u are.I know some guys arent in touch wit theer feeling but it seems like ur BF wants to show the world he loves u .
Im sorry to say this ..and pls i dont mean it in a bad way.Sometimes ppl care what others think and when u had that 2o kgs he was wondering if the world would see what he sees in u ...listen what matters is that u guys are closer than before....what ever caused the change of behavoir dont think too much into it.
Just enjoy his affection...

Reply to T
Posted by: sandy | 2006/11/10

exactly what is your problem ?. you seem to be having a normal life and a loving relationship that a lot of people would literally kill for.....im not sure whats wrong with you. maybe you should get your head examined. just enjoy it and stop complaining and wanting to find fault where there isnt any.

Reply to sandy

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