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Question
Posted by: Pauline | 2004/02/02

Boyfriend troubel

Hey doc, me again, i had an awful weekend,my boyfriend got invited to a 21st on sat nite, which he didn't invite me along. Then i get told by his mother how drunk he was they had to carry him into the house, for me that's a big no no due to previous history. On sunday we got invited for a wedding which i really didn't want to go but made a sacrifice especially for his family, he asked me to take him home to fetch his car which i didn't mind, i arrived back at the wedding and he simply phoned saying he wasn't coming back as he really didn't feel well. To me i thought why do i need this crap in my life and was going to break up with him. After his sister phoning him he came back to the wedding i was very heart sore the person whom i love the mosteally hurt me, i told him we should break up then he can do whatever he wants, he started crying. I Love him but i don't deserve to be hurt to some people i'm Making a big deal out of nothing, but its about how i feel and didn't think it was right. Now i'm sitting here wondering if everything will be better again.
P.S He says he didn't do anything wrong!!!!

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Our expert says:
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Dear Pauline,
Why on earth are otherwise sensible readers blaming this poor boyfriend for being normal, when it is his gf who is a whiny, self-centred and supremely selfish little girl ?
Teenage guys sometimes get too drunk at a 21st birthday --- so ? That's not a tragedy, nnor anything you have any right to get lathered up about. He didn't invite you to someone else's party ? Maybe it was them who didn't invite you ? Then you make an awesome "sacrifice" by going to a wedding with him ? For Pete's sake, on Saturday you're complaining bitterly that he DIDN't take you to a party he was invited to, and on Sunday, you're whining because he DID !!!
So, later on Sunday, he found he wasn't feeling well ? After drinking too much the night before, that's hardly surprising. Instead of his supposedly loving gf sympathising or at least understanding, again, the drama queen who seems to make everything About Herself, feels that SHE is somehow suffering enormously ! You didn't care a twig about whether he WAS feeling sick, but he had to come back because you wanted it, and you felt deeply hurt because he didn't rush back to your side ?
Is someone misusing Juslizen's usually reliable name in the posting here ? It's not the bf who's a "me, myself and I" type, but his massively demanding, totally selfish and immature gf. It may hurt his feelings, but he could be very lucky indeed if you do break up with him. If you're like this now, he could otherwise be in for a truly miserable relationship with you. See a counsellor, and work on a crash course in growing up, and in becoming less selfish and more considerate of others.
Of course you're making a great deal out of nearly nothing. But you got one thing right, when you wrote "but it's about how I feel". From your two messages, it seems that EVERYTHING is about "how I feel". he is right, he didn't do anything wrong. But if you can't tolerate his being normal, maybe wait until you can find some spineless, submissive, weedy guy who'll jump whenever you snap your fingers. There aren't all that many of them around, but you could get lucky.

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Our users say:
Posted by: eve | 2004/02/02

I agree dont let his crocodile tears stop you, my sister had the same problem everytime she tried to break up with the guy he cried his eyes out. Thank God she stopped the relationship this guy ended up being a bum looking after the kids while his wife works.

Reply to eve
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2004/02/02

Hey there Pauline ( ",)
Reading your posting brought back qite a few memories. Your b/f seems to be a me, myself and I type of a person, leave him before you get too involved becuase then it will be more difficult.

Reply to Juzlisen
Posted by: Happiness | 2004/02/02

I dissagree....it seems like he is very self involved and has got some growing up to do...he could get over him self eventually but could take a few years...are you willing to put up with that kind of selfish behaviour for that period of time.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: Boyfriend | 2004/02/02

You are making such a big deal out of nothing! How old are you?

Reply to Boyfriend

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