Our expert says:
Apart from confrontational sessions aroused by his misbehaving when the bf's around, have you had a calm, mom to son chat with him about this new man in your life, how he feels about it and how you feel about it ? Does he understand what's going on ? What does HE think is happening ? What relationship does he still have with his dad ( sometimes a separated dad encourages a child to cause problems with the new man in mom's life, for instance ).
As you say, kids are awfully perceptive, and inclined to take advantage of situations they encounter. It would be best for you to clarify the rules of conduct and behaviour you expect from the boy - at ALL times - with or without the new man, and a code of consequences such as TV deprivation for a set time for a specific infringement of the rules. It won't work to have different rules when the other guy is or isn't around. And you should remain in charge of declaring the rules ( clarifying that the new man agrees with these ) and in charge of administering them.
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