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Question
Posted by: Mom | 2006/04/06

Boy

My boy is 15 years old. He is discovering his body now. I am a little concerned about the following. I don;t know ho to handle this. I've discovered some nude girl pictures on his PC, he is always busy on his PC and Cellphone. He is in Grade 9 and I try to tell him that his schoolwork is a priority now, and that he must focus on this for his future. Do I take the PC and Cellphone away or what do you do. He was always a quite kid an introvert never done silly things but it feels to me if I can't handle him now? Any suggestions will be helpful please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi there,

as you have described your son is at an age where he is exploring his sexuality and looking at pictures is part of that process.

You need to ensure that the way in which you approach this does not make him feel as if his emerging sexuality is wrong. If you take things away this is exactly what he will think. Also he will be aware that you have been looking at things he would consider private, and this can damage the trust between you for a very long time.

You need to make a judgement call about the type of pictures he is looking at - if they are very explicit and what would be considered "hardcore" pornography you may need to speak about it to him.

What is important is that you maintain an open door for him to ask questions about things, and unless he is doing anything that you feel is outside the boundaries then you may not actually have to do anything.

What you describe are very normal actions of someone who is exploring their sexuality and the main things you may need to do are do nothing, and respect his privacy - whilst he is still a minor and you child he does still have a right to privacy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Another mom | 2006/04/11

I can distinctly remember when this happened to my son.
Here is my advice.
You need to make it very clear to him that what is happening is completely fine with you. Look at the girls on the PC when you happen upon him looking at them. Comment positively about their figures etc.This way he will feel that he can discuss openly with you and that you in fact see what he does.

Good Luck - it gets better and there is nothing more rewarding than having a trusting and open relationship with your boy.

Reply to Another mom
Posted by: un oh | 2006/04/07

dont scorn him because of his sexuality. he'll be ruined when he actually has a girl, he'll be ashamed of himself for being male and human. porno is ok as long as he respects you and dosent leave it hanging around to irritate and distress you.

Reply to un oh
Posted by: ans | 2006/04/06

As you say he is discovering his body,never take away anything from him,ask about his schoolwork and how is he doing, is he still going strong on his schoolwork.
He is also discover girls now and will soon if not already try out sex with them,tell to protect himself and to use a condom,I know for a single parent(I presume you are one ) it is hard to talk to a boy,as his mother.Show intrest in him and tell him that you trust him and you suppose he will not let you down

Reply to ans

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