Our expert says:
Someone who has to spend so much time telling someone else that they're lousy at their work, must themselves be truly awful at their own work. What an appalling person to be in charge of HR ! Keep looking for a better alternative job. Is there any way you could tacfully and gently speak to your other boss, her friend, about the problem ? Culd she possibly understand, and intercede ? And what about HER boss ? Is there someone above her, with whom you could talk ? The other bosses must be extraordinarily dim if they haven't recognized that she is a cause of problems, rather than a solution ?
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