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Question
Posted by: KKB | 2007/12/07

books

Hi CS

I was at the child psycologist yesterday. It has to do with my 4 yr asking where her father is all the time. He immigrated to NZ. She suggested i get a book on the different stages of a childs life in order to understand how my daughter thinks, and at her age, how she is developing in her mind, personality etc

I live in Polokwane and our book variety is so limited. Could you perhaps help me out with a good book i can order, in order to educate myself on this issue.

Kind regards.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry, I'd love to help, but I'm n ot personally aware of such a book I could recommend at this stage --- I'm surprized the psychologist didn't recommend some specific books. You could try exclusivebooks.com and kalahari.net and search for what titles they have on child PSYCHOLOGICAL development

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: INSPIRED PARENTING | 2007/12/07

Dear KKB

I don't think a book is going to help your daughter right now. She is missing her dad and doesn't understand why she can't see him. You need to encourage her to express how she is feeling. Let her draw pictures and do an angry dance or punch a pillow if she needs to.

You need to tell her that her father lives very faraway and is not able to be there for her, but still loves her (if that is the truth).

If he has abandoned her then you need to explain to her that not all dads know how to be dads. Some dads get scared and don't know how to do it. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU REASSURE HER THAT YOU WON'T ABANDON HER AS WELL.

It is important that she knows that she has a dad but that he can't be there for her the way her friends dads are.

Answer all her questions honestly without putting her dad down. Remember she has a right to love her dad, even if he is not there for her. She also needs to have her feelings acknowledged. Encourage her to talk about him if she wants to.

If her dad is not returning, try to find an uncle or grandfather that can step in and be a strong positive male figure in your daughter's life.

Good luck!
INSPIRED PARENTING

Reply to INSPIRED PARENTING
Posted by: kkb | 2007/12/07

Thanks John

I will for sure try ti get hold of this book

Reply to kkb
Posted by: John | 2007/12/07

There is a book - "Understanding Young Children's Behaviour" - by Jillian Rodd. The ISBN is 1864481633. Kalahari.net do not seem to have it in stock but if you call them, they will probably be able to order it for you. Call Exclusive Books as well, although I have found Kalahari to be cheader (by lots) than Exclusive.

Good luck.

Reply to John

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