Posted by: Luu | 2009/06/24

Body issues

Doc,since iv i had a child i gained weight,strechmarks all over my body,so i cant bring myself to be naked around a man,let alone have insecure about my body.i tried the gym,i lost weight from 124kg to 90kg,bio-oils and almost anything i can think of.this problem is serious and its been 2 yrs and 6 months since.please help urgently.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

In terms of resolving the stretch marks, that is obviously something I can't help with that - perhaps a dermatologist could assist more with this. Alternatively, ask the medical expert 'cyberdoc' on the expert forum; perhaps she has some ideas about that.

The psychological issues related to feeling uncomfortable with what your body looks like now can be tricky and require you to do some work on your thinking (it's mostly how bad you think it is that makes you feel bad about it - if a man wants to be intimate with you, and you tell him that you are conscious about the way it looks, then you need to trust that it may be okay with him). How is your feeling self-concious about this changing things? If you have done as much as you can for now, then you have to try to just take the leap of 'just being' and let him have his reaction or not - many people are guided by how YOU feel about yourself. You can try to protect yourself some by warning any possible partner how you worry about the appearance of these marks, then you can also try moving slowly to being naked (dim the lights to begin with, if that helps), but do eventually expose yourself fully (i.e. don't try to hide behind sheets, or hide certain areas) and try to overcome your fear as far as possible. The alternative is you remain slave to it and hide away for another few years!

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Kate | 2009/06/25

And it Does not putt you off if you see a fat tummy flabing around and celulite on legs that you dont see when shes got clothes on??? I am not ditching you just curios about how you men feel about it, if it does not make you think something nasty??? if it does not i wil try it, i use to be very fun before my child cos i had a body most men druled about, only had one sex partner ever dont think i slept around, but after baby i could not get my body back and i am fat and feel uncomfortable naked

Reply to Kate
Posted by: Ken | 2009/06/24

Kate, that' s very sad as sex with the lights off is just not the same, especially for men. Men are very visual but so are a lot of women, my women would not dream of doing it with the lights off, and she is not happy with her body in case you wondering.

Reply to Ken
Posted by: kate | 2009/06/24

its not serios its part of the mother process and happens to the best of us when we get preg and have children, my chid is 5 yrs old i am still fat have strech marks all over and ,my hubby loves me the way i am though i dont feel comfortable being naked around him and when we have sex it happens with the light off so he does not see my fat and marks

Reply to kate
Posted by: Your friendly advisor | 2009/06/24

Hey Luu,
How' s your current lifestyle? What are your stats? Height, age, current level of activity, etc?
the role of a good eating plan (I don' t believe in diets) as well as a balance between weights and cardio with enough rest should and will give you the desired results. Some people who battle to lose body fat generally get their blood taken for any abnormalities. Have your insulin and thyroid checked if after a while you still battle...

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