Posted by: Going Outta My Mind. | 2009/03/02

Blue Stone

It seems like a very strange request, I know, but I really do need to know if there is anything on the market that is safe to take to drastically reduce or remove one' s libido...? As I said, it may appear strange but I am at my wits end as my wife is simply not interested in love-making, even after trying counseling, patches, toys and health products and I realise that the only way to save my marriage (I will eventually be tempted into an affair if it continues and I have children to think of...) is to take the initiative and remove any temptation by removing the source. Please can you let me know if this is a possibility as we have been battling this issue for nearly 17 years now and it isn' t going to resolve itself under the current circumstances. Our therapist did say that sometimes the one partner just has no interest and there' s nothing that can be done? Please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I can hear your distress but am concerned about using medication to remove libido. No medications are without possible side effects. You may consider posting you question on the Pharmacist section of this column for drugs that reduce libido. Give yourself full permission to masturbate when you need to. The more anxious you are about your libido and lack of sexual release, the more problematic it may become. You wife needs to understand that you are commited to the marriage, but your body has natural functions that need to be accommodated too.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Bill | 2009/03/05

Mr G you should start your own website or forum to help all of us depraved and inexperienced souls, you rock keep it up. From my side I will say that it seems to be murphys law that partners are mostly mismatched or change, the horny women get the boring guys, and the horny guys get frigid women! I also say that there is always some kind of solution, and both parties have to make some compromise and reach a solution.

Reply to Bill
Posted by: Leila | 2009/03/03

Sex and intimacy is needed to keep things going in a relationship - If you have done everything in your power to try and get things going, then you need to tell her that you need sex and intimacy and if she cannot/will not give it, then you are going to look elsewhere. I have been married 24 years and I am in a similar position, hb only wants sex once maybe twice a week max, yet I could do with sex everyday.... eventhough I have discussed my needs with him, nothing has changed. I am also thinking about having an affair - simply to get more sex!

Reply to Leila
Posted by: RP | 2009/03/02

I was in a similar boat, and I had an affair. My wife caught a HUGE wake-up. I dont suggest you do same, but maybe propose it to her as an ultimatum. ie say to your wife ' you are not given any at all, how about I find it somewhere else, as it IS a NORMAL part of human existence! '  Like a concubine ) She needs a bit of a shock! I dont enjoy massaging for eg, but when my wife wants, I do it. You make a dam effort for your partner!

Reply to RP
Posted by: Mr G | 2009/03/02

" Our therapist did say that sometimes the one partner just has no interest and there'  s nothing that can be done?" 

That is bullsh*t. If your wife doesn' t want to work on the problem then what she is saying is: " I' m to self-centred and I will not do anything about it."  It might sound harsh, but that is the reality.

If you have from you side tried to help, by making food from to time, helping with the cleaing of the house and so on... then there is no reason why she can' t try from her side. If you have really done everything to help her then I' m sorry to say, but you' ll only sink yourself in the end.

Reply to Mr G

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