Our expert says:
Sex itself does not usually weaken the bladder. However, what could be happening is a mild urinary tract infection through unprotected intercourse - a woman's urinary tract is relatively short and so bacteria (normal) can quite easily pass into the bladder, causing irriation and urgency to urinate. This is why it recommended that condoms are worn, and if in a committed relationship with a partner who is STI free, then wee soon after intercourse - it flushes any bacteria away. If you are concerned have it checked out.
If you still want to tighten up the muscles around your pelvic area (this is the area that is exercised to assist with incontinence, but it is really helpful also to tone the muscles to improve arousal and can improve orgasmic sensation), then you need to do pelvic floor muscle exercises. To know what I'm referring to, next time you urinate, stop the flow of urine. Those muscles that you use to do this are the pelvic floor muscles. Excercise them by contracting and relaxing - repeat this in sets of ten. Also do sets where you hold the contraction for increasing longer periods of time, then release and relax, repeat this too.
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