Posted by: Damsel | 2004/01/28


Hi, i ahvea serious problem, i'm stuck in a relationship with a guy who i do love, but realise that its not going to work.
My problem is that i feel i can tleave him because every time i want to, he threatens me with something or the other and i cant leave...its driving me to an emotional breakdown.
I keep on telling myself maybe he'l change cos i love him, but he proves me wrong all the time.

PS: is there any way i can contact you privately?through email?

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Our expert says:
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Dear Damsel,
Sorry, but we don't have the facility for private communications by email with the experts through this site. You sound ambivalent here. If you loved him wisely, you wouldn't have a reason to want to leave --- maybe you love the man you want him to become ( which he won't !) rather than the man he actually is ?
A blackmailer, by definition, is not worthy of love. If he is realy threatening you with some form of harm, that's abusive, and you should call a group like POWA for specific advice on leaving safely.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Gentle | 2004/01/28

What is it that he threatens you with that will make you stay with him for the rest of your life?

Did you kill someone and he is the only witness?

Reply to Gentle
Posted by: 007 | 2004/01/28

Why do you want to leave him if you love him?????

Reply to 007
Posted by: damsel | 2004/01/28

yes, ...its actually a consortium of things.
Guess it makes it easier that i DO love him, because i can understand him.However, i feel that these devious ways of his, i.e. the very thought of blackmailing me, in order not to lose me, is unhealthy. That is my grief

Reply to damsel
Posted by: J | 2004/01/28

is what he is blackmailing you with THAT terrible that you would live with a man you didnt love rather thean be free?

Reply to J

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