Posted by: Tigger Togs | 2004/10/29

Bitterness etc

How do you let go of bitterness? I was fine, my husband left me for a gorgeous blond doll. I was fine. Now suddenly people are seeing them together in public and I'm going insane. I want to forgive, to let go, I pray I cry, but now the bitterness is consuming me. I am so angry I could smack them both. Why does he just get a nice new doll and I'm left with the kids and alone?

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Posted by: Wpp | 2004/10/29

hi Tigger, My, what a wonderful pseudonym! I hope that you are as much fun as the stry book Tigger.When I got divorced some 4 years ago the attorney that we both used gave us some sage advice. He said that what we had was now OVER and that each of us must go our seperate ways and not be jealous of the other's future successes, nor should we crow with delight if the other party had problems in the future. Only speaking for myself I can honestly say that I am happy when my ex does well or tell me about her new life and how she enjoys it.
I have seen so many cases where divorced folk begrudge the other party any joy or success, and so their lives become bitter and they become twisted. Do yourself a favour and don't fall into that trap. There is life after divorce and it is up to you to find it.

Reply to Wpp
Posted by: Bugs | 2004/10/29

I got divorced a year ago and even thought it was for the best for all concerned - IT STILL HURT LIKE HELL & you think you will never get over it. My Mom said "one day, this will all be a distant memory" & she was so right, but I had to work at it by letting go of the bitterness & to stop feeling sorry for myself. I now extremly happy and have some seriously wonderful buddies that I can turn to if ever I feel down (Yes, it does happen occasionally & probably will for a while to come). Take each day as it comes and slowly but surely, the hurt & memories will fade - I PROMISE YOU!!!¢¾

Reply to Bugs
Posted by: lady nine | 2004/10/29

hi there

girl to need to let go not because he or she deserves it but because YOU deserve it

bitterness is a dangerous thing and it destroys, you have to find the strengh inside you to get up and go again - leave the past behind oyu and focus on the future ( even if you can only focus for the next hour)

what happend to you and the kids has the potential to work out for the best, it all depends how you handle the situation

i speak from experience - it takes a long time but it DOES get better, set new goals and move forward - me and the girls have decided to start camping - we slowly are collecting the gear every month and you should see how excited they are about our new life and adventures - we have a goal and that pulls us forward to a better future

be strong girl


Reply to lady nine
Posted by: Anon | 2004/10/29

hi Tigger
I have posted this reponse on a number of occasions - My girl, you are going to sit back and wonder "how could I have been so cut up"? - You are going to THANK GOD that you life was given back and that you were given another shot at real happiness!! Just remember that the blonde bimbo will for the rest of her time together with the loser have to look over her shoulder, because if he could do this to his wife and kids, how secure can she really be.......

Reply to Anon
Posted by: D@mn | 2004/10/29

Just remember that the best revenge is to live a happier better more joyous life than you could have with him.... even if you have to fake it till you make it, as Dr Phil would say...

Reply to D@mn
Posted by: blond doll | 2004/10/29

Tigger Togs, I was referred to as the blond Barbie-doll, and still my husband had an affair with an unattractive, common slut! So, it is not about looks - believe me! It's about lust and their low selfesteem..

I totally agree with Straycat... it takes a lot of TIME to heal and get over with the bitterness and anger because this is hard! And the most difficult part is to forgive..
I've been divorced for almost 1½ years, and you know what? He took me for the fool, but he was the biggest fool ever to have left me for the other (married) woman! And he is not happy at all, very lonely and still wants me to be with him..
All that I can say: "Die wiel draai!!, their time will come.

Reply to blond doll
Posted by: TW | 2004/10/29

Absolutely right straycat! Pefect for you to start a new life,
a life of happiness, confidence and new freindships.

Its going to be tough in the begining but you can do this !!! You dont need him, he's proven that he isnt a worthy husband. You deserve a man that will love and cherish you and hes out there! Trust God in this time and let him guide you on your new path. Be excited to see what your future holds.

Dont let bitterness take a hold on your life otherwise it will just make it harder to move on for you and your children... start filling up your life with activites and start having fun and soon you will see that all those hurtful feelings will be replaced with those of happiness and content. Your children need you over this time too as it must also be difficult for them, be a rock they can lean on and also look up too. They learn from your example and if you try to be positive you will see they too will handle this difficult situation much better.

Pray you get through this tough time in you life quickly and remember God is always there let him know how you feel!

Reply to TW
Posted by: Straycat | 2004/10/29

It must be hard.. ... But it does give you the opportunity to start new things.... Dont worry about your ex.. and his new blonde...Personally I feel thats a bit of a steriotypical move..(No offense to blondes out there !!!) Now its your turn to get on with it.. I'm not saying get even.. I'm saying.. start doing some new stuff..hobbies,travel,exercise (with your kids, or yourself if thats what you want).. He will probably look back in confusion... cos you are gonna be doing great!...

Suppose, time is also a healer.. Praying will help, because God will never leave you................


Reply to Straycat

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