Posted by: Mel | 2007/12/12

Bipolar - question 2

Thanks for the replies.

Self-destructive is definitely what she is doing. I don't really know what the exact reason is although I can speculate. She does not have a good relationship with her father. He has a low self-esteem and takes it out on other people. He also used to stay out at night then come back home drunk and would then be abusive. When she admitted herself to Vista last year, I contacted the phsychiatrist whom she was seeing but she signed the confidentiality form restricting any information being given to us. She did very well for the 7 months but since then the wheels are coming off. She started a new job in Feb and was socialising with clients one night when she lost it again. After that she told us she will never do that again but to no avail it only lasted 3 weeks and she was back to her old ways. The problem is that she cannot even take 1 drink then the cycle starts again. She takes very good care of my granddaughter when my son-in-law is in CT because she does not go out during that period but the minute he arrives then it is as if she lets her hair down and off she goes to some appointment. He never knows where or when she will be back. She lost her job in August because of this behaviour and had obviously been drinking with the clients. She has never been in a job for longer than a couple of months. My son-in-law has on a couple of occasions taken my granddaughter with him to CT and left her with his family but to no avail she did not change or even attempt to change. She also lies so much that we don't know what to believe anymore. The problem now is my son-in-law wants a divorce and he is going to take my granddaughter away from her. I don't know how she will handle that with the frame of mind she is in.

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Our expert says:
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Interesting that she chose to sign an agreement limiting availability of information to her family ( and hence reducing her access to help from family, too ). Socializing with clients at night is usually a bad idea, even in terms of business, and certainly for anyone with alcohol, substancea abuse or major emotional problems. And it is NOT needed for normal business. As she is apparently not being honest with herself, or her shrink, or you, there's not much anyone else can do tohelp her until she wakes up and realises what she needs to do. If she really doesn't want to child taken away from her, she has to brush up her act --- rapidly, and completely and lastingly. The courts are supposed to concentrate on the needs of the child, and a drunken mom who can't keep a job due to her drinking, isn't going to be the choice of any competent court

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