Our expert says:
Hello again ! You know, this might work a lot better if you posted shorter messages more often !
Many people find the "festive" season depressing, for a number of reasons. If you have coped with a bipolar disorder for a year without meds, I'd find it strange to think of recommending ECT. Not drinking is probably one of the healthiest things you've achieved --- well done ! Alcohol is a powerful depressant drug
I can't help feeling that proper CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) could help you to control the range of symptoms even more efficiently than you have managed on your own, and this would include the stress, panic attacks, etc. And to help you control those suicidal thoughts. Do seek out a chrink properly able to offer this specific treatment
With the problems of your ex and your child perhaps not being well enough cared for, etc, maybe discuss this with someone at the maintenance court or a lawyer of your own, as the child's interests are paramount, not the mom's wishes to provide for her other kids.
And though I understand what you say you want, don't fall for the quackery of those highly dangerous quacks who offer "sleep therapy" --- they're lethally incompetent !
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