Our expert says:
FF, this does indeed sound very frustrating. And I hope you are discussing all of these details, especially your despair, with your own psychiatrist, so that you can jointly consider revisions to the treatment, as this condition CAN be controlled sucessfully, though sometimes it takes much longer than we would wish to find the right combination of treatments to help it. YOU are not a failure --- any more than someone with diabetes is a failure. You are trying to cope with a very difficult condition which is not at all your fault, and understandably you are finding this difficult at times. Seeing a counselor in addition to the medication might help find better ways to cope with the symptoms while you have them.
I don't think you would make a bad mother, at all --- Bipolar moms and dads can be excellent parents. Obviously having any chronic health problem makes it less easy than it is for the healthy, but it's very possible. If it were possible for you to adopt a child, you could potentially be a fine mom. The concern is more for the problem of the impact of a pregnancy and its hormonal shifts, on your own health and well-being, and the possible impact of necessary meds ( or, what can be worse, of uncontrolled untreated illness ) on the child during pregnancy.
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