Posted by: too depressed | 2004/10/19

bf running away from pregnancy

I just found that I'm 4 wks pregnant and when i told my bf he freaked out, he now wants me to make arbotion.His reasoning is that he thinks that our relationship has not matured enough for us to be able to deal with such a commotment. I'm intening keeping the baybe as I do not feel confortable with abortion. I do not think I will be able to forgive myself if I can do it. He says that if I insist keeping the baybe he does not promise me that he will be there for the baybe. My parents divorced when I was very young. I do not want him to marry me or to commit to me. All I want is for my kid to know his father and have a normal relationship with him. I'm very much depressed and now my woory is that it is going to affest the development of the baybe.

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Our expert says:
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Shouldn't you each see a counsellor, to work through and understand your complex feelings and reactions to this news, before making any final decisions ? And if you decide to keep the baby, he can't just wall out on his responsibilities including paying for the birth and baby-care, along with you. Maybe he'll think thi through can manage a more mature and less selfish reaction. But see a counsellor to work on your own needs, anyhow, and that'll benefit you and the baby.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Milo | 2004/10/19

Hi! Td

Sorry that was meant for you too depressed.

Enjoy your day.

Reply to Milo
Posted by: Milo | 2004/10/19


Sorry to hear this. Let me tell you my story. I fell Pregnant after being in the relationship for 3 months. He had previously asked me to have his baby but I refused (was not ready and had other commitments). When this happen he said he is not going to be part of this because I chose to conceive at my own time. He asked me to terminate, I told him all I want is for him to be part of his baby. We stopped seeing each other when I was about 5 months. Two months before the baby's birth he came back, apologised for everything. He was excited when the baby was born he even gave him a name. He asked me to name him after him (said no ofcourse). I struggled to get him to assist financially, kept on promising. I took him to the maintance court and is now three months since I got the money. Now he is again not talking to me maybe because of the maintance case. I don't care its his loss. The good news is my son is now 13 months, walking and trying to talk. He is healthy and very happy.
What I am trying to say is be strong it will pass and you will love that child rather than feeling quilty for the rest of your life. Even if you do it you going to loose him anyway so why should he get his way. If he comes back and you still love him you can work things out but the baby does not need him to grow.

Take care of that bundle of joy and know that there are other people who love you like your family and friends (and me ofcourse) you can turn to.

Goodluck!! and I hope this helps

Reply to Milo
Posted by: Lwethu | 2004/10/19

I'm sorry to hear that, my baby is nine months you can't beleive that the father wanted me to terminate and it was late for termination so I didn't.He doesn't know whether the baby eat or wear so I have admited the situation as it is, follow your heart my dear!

Good luck

Reply to Lwethu
Posted by: Paul | 2004/10/19

Your bf is a prick cos your relationship was mature enough to conceive and now he wants to run away. Jeesh I don't know what to say except BIG PRICK.

Reply to Paul

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