Our expert says:
You need legal advice. It's understandable that the mom of the twins would want to make arrangements for the continuing care of the twins if she eventually dies, though giving full custody to an alcoholic is probably not wise. Anyhow, I don't think she can just wish it so, there would need to be a legal proces, and the father of the kids would be able to put his point of view to the kids.
Sounds like she's handling the difficult situation badly, and needs and deserves proper counelling, which her oncologist and/or the Cancer Society should be able to provide. Of course it's not his fault that she has cancer.
What, actually, do the pair of you want ? Would he prefer to take full custody of the kids himself, and would you be happy with that ? If not, what alternative would he prefer ?
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