Posted by: Greg | 2007/02/23


Been involved with my gf for 6/7 years.She is in her late twenties. I supported her (financially) when she left school and was still looking for employment. Organised employment for her. We stayed together as she was not paid very well. Begining last year she got a good paying job.We moved to a bigger space and bought a better car cause we were to share some expenses. Oct/Nov06 I lost my job and worked for a low paying job. In Dec I was drowning in debts and 100% broke. She started having friends male & female. She bought new clothes, went out often weekends without me and was not putting any effort to save my/our situation. She moved out recently leaving me with huge rent to pay. I have since been recovering. Now she desparetly want us to get back together. Says she regrets what she did was infuenced by friends. I still love her. What should I do.

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Our expert says:
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A sad story, Greg. It happens. If I were you I would allow her to repay her debts in the sense of paying the rent she owed, but would not accept her back. She is more than old enough not to act so cruelly and selfishly simply due to the influence of some recent "friends" She doesn't deserve you, and basically used you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shae | 2007/02/23

You are her safety net, her second fiddle, her contingency plan - nothing more, nothing less. You are only good enough to give but not to receive - is this what you want to be to someone? Is this the only kind of love and afection you're good for?

Decide you're value and action it!

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Lauren Auder | 2007/02/23

U do not need her - get sum1 who will appreciate n luv u the same way u luv them. Do u know where she has been all this time? With who..... n now she suddenly wants to get back together....

If u decide 2 stay with her ... make sure that she gets a HIV test.... u can never be sure

Reply to Lauren Auder
Posted by: Foxybrown | 2007/02/23

Why am I always raining on ppl's parades...?

Influenced by her friends eh? A guy is by your side thru thick and thin and you are influenced by your friends. Carries you emotionally and financially from the time you were at school rite thru to your early working days, and you want to turn around and say you were influenced by your friends. Was forced to watch you climb the social ladder and hang out with 'worthier' people, forced to watch your lot in life improve by the month and your excuse is you were influenced by your friends. He nearly drowns in a sea of debt and must crimp and save to make ends meet; he has to deal with rent back payments and you want to talk about being Influenced By Your Friends.

Well certainly, your girlfriend has fairweather friends. And I think she now needs money and a place to stay, a person to not judge her and place of emotional recovery. From fairweather friends. I suspect your girlfriend is also in debt. Something has gone wrong with her high flying life. The friends don’t like what they see and have moved on to new blood to suck. Your girlffriend is up a certain creek with a very short paddle.

I am just saying it is my belief this is the classic case of the prodigal girlfriend. It is always ok to accept back a prodigal - who is thoroughly repentant and genuinely willing to make up for their mistakes. Not one who is back because she needs to recover before becoming a stuck-up high flyer again.

What is her motive for coming back? You - or the fact that things are not quite as peachy in her life as they were before? That is the million dollar question. If it is the former, yes you can safely take her back and things may well go right from here. It is the latter reason; just wait for her fortunes to soar again. You will then again be relegated to the position of Inconvenient Encumbrance A Woman Doesn't Need in Her Flashy Life.

Choose well that’s all I'm saying. Choose well my brother.

Put your love on the coffee table for a second and look at the facts as thought you were Magnum P.I. If you decide purely with your heart ofcourse you will take her back. Engage some critical analysis too and chances are you will choose well. You take her back, she goes half on everything. Rent, expenses, everything. You’ve been burnt before, exercise discipline this time. No one says discipline and love must conflict. They often produce the best relationships.

Yeah mon!

Reply to Foxybrown
Posted by: mandy | 2007/02/23

people leave a good thing because they think the grass is greener and they only return because it is not. if she strayed once she had her reasons what will honestly have changed, was her love for you so weak that she was so easily influenced, oh and i am sure she has reassured you that this time it will be different why, you have not changed she realised what she should of cherished

Reply to mandy
Posted by: GRACIE | 2007/02/23

When the going gets tough - the tough get going hey!! Where was she when you needed her? Now that you are getting back onto your feet again, she desperately wants to get back with you. Sounds to me as tho she is just going to use you again. You helped her when she needed a job and when you were down and out she turned her back on you. I think it best if she lives where she is presently living and you carry on where you are - is she going to run off everytime there is a problem? Very immature of her - and she cannot blame her friends for her lousy decision she made - she should know where her priorities and loyalties lie. I hope that you make the right decision here. Good luck.

Reply to GRACIE

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