Our expert says:
Expecting someone to work, study AND bear children is usually unrealistic and unfair. And why would he express such a wish for you to bear another child by him, while he was having an affair ? Having any affair was wrong in those circumstances, and having one with a married women, especially irresponsible. If he was and is having such an affair, that was indeed both cruel within the context of the marriage, but also does indeed expose you to serious risks to your health and life, through his promiscuity.
But then you mention that this happened 13 years ago ? That's a long time to bear grudges without trying to resolve the issues one way or another. Brooding about it, feeling resentful and lasing out, helps neither of you.
Why on earth not at long last see a marriage counsellor together, not to guarantee glueing th pair of you back together, but to see whether these issues can be resolved or at least better understood, placing you both in a better position to make a wiser decision about the future of your relationship
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